THE mantra of “never complain, never explain” has for centuries propped up the myth that the Royal Family are higher beings.
For without that vital mystique, their subjects might rumble that they’re just like the rest of us.
GettySarah Ferguson emailed paedophile Jeffrey Epstein privately to ‘humbly apologise’ for disowning him while admitting she did so to save her career as a children’s author[/caption]
Prince Andrew and Jeffrey Epstein go for a stroll together in New York’s Central ParkJae Donnelly
And, with that realisation, wonder why we’re funding them to the tune of £132million a year to open new sports centres.
With the exception of our late Queen who set an exemplary example of selfless duty, the dawn of new technology has provided evidence that these supposedly higher beings are anything but.
The cameras to capture toe-sucking or a furtive stroll through Central Park with a man who’s served jail time for soliciting prostitution from a minor, the scanning devices used by radio amateurs to record once-secret phone calls about tampons, It’s A Royal Knockout, the Bashir/Dimbleby interviews, the Netflix and book deals, and of course, the emails.
Which brings me to the “hellacious”, excruciatingly fawning email from the Duchess of York — aka Fergie — to paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.
We now know that, just one month after making a public declaration about how she abhors “paedophilia and any sexual abuse of children” and saying sorry for a “gigantic error of judgment” in befriending Epstein, she emailed him privately to “humbly apologise” for disowning him, while admitting she did so to save her career.
“You have always been a steadfast, generous and supreme friend to me and my family,” she gushed.
One who, by all accounts, bailed out the profligate Yorks financially with sums that Andrew Lownie — author of Entitled: The Rise And Fall Of The House Of York — believes could be “closer to £2million”.
“Ferguson owed money to almost everyone she met,” he says.
Having seen Peter Mandelson’s latest demise over an email to Epstein, how many sleepless nights has she had waiting for her smoking gun email to be released?
Or is she just so naive that, like so much of her off-colour behaviour in the past, she thinks it can be glossed over and eventually forgiven?
The seven charities (so far) to drop her clearly feel otherwise and it’s fair to say that, in the modern parlance, she’s been well and truly cancelled.
Pantomime buffoons
And it was all going so well. After years of being cast out into the wilderness by Prince Philip (never one to suffer fools gladly) his death saw the Queen soften towards her former daughter-in-law and, for the sake of her granddaughters, allow her back over the Balmoral threshold at Christmas.
And at the Duchess of Kent’s recent funeral, there she was by her ex- husband’s side as the pair of them giggled inappropriately like a pair of pantomime buffoons while Prince William’s expression suggested he shares the same opinion as his late grandfather.
The equally disgraced Prince Andrew has been allowed to attend “family events” as the brother of the King, but one suspects that the indulgence of allowing the woman he divorced nearly 30 years ago on the premises will now end.
I have met and interviewed Sarah several times over the years and she’s a fundamentally kind, positive person.
But the deadly cocktail of her naivety and fondness for the high life has always made her something of a loose cannon.
And this shameless grovelling to a deeply nasty man isn’t a forgivable human frailty; it shows craven greed and rampant self-preservation that, worst of all, betrays Epstein’s many victims.
UNI IN SORRY STATE
GettyLeaked WhatsApp messages from Oxford students interested in joining the debating society revealed mocking remarks about Charlie Kirk’s death[/caption]
LEAKED WhatsApp messages from incoming and current Oxford students interested in joining the debating society have revealed mocking remarks about Charlie Kirk’s death, and threats being issued to those who condemned the violence.
Nice. It follows the disgraceful comments by incoming union president George Abaraonye who once debated Kirk while wearing slippers/trackies and, following his death, gloated “loool” – an elongated version of laugh out loud – and “let’s f***ing go”, both of which he later deleted and apologised for.
This week, it was revealed that Oxford and Cambridge – the much hallowed “Oxbridge” – have both fallen out of the top-three universities list for the first time.
Coincidence much?
IT seems Jeremy Corbyn’s newly-formed “Your Party” has become Her Party after his colleague Zarah Sultana accused him of running a “sexist boys’ club” and splintered off to set up a separate enterprise.
Oh dear. The Judean People’s Front or the People’s Front of Judea?
Either way, it’s beyond Pythonesque satire.
MORAL WRITE
SplashThere are rumours Canadian stylist Jessica Mulroney, once Meghan Markle’s ‘rock’, is planning a tell-all autobiography[/caption]
SHE was once known as Meghan Markle’s “rock” and played a central role at her grand wedding to Prince Harry.
But five years ago, Canadian stylist Jessica Mulroney fell out of favour with the Sussexes after getting embroiled in a “white privilege” row with a black influencer.
Now there are rumours she’s planning a tell-all autobiography, which she’s denied.
But why not?
After all, Harry and Meghan have milked their own family secrets dry, so why not Jessica too?
If, of course, there’s anything left to say.
SHAKY STANCE YVETTE
ReutersPresident Trump shakes hands with Yvette Cooper during his state visit[/caption]
WHEN President Trump made his first state visit here in 2019, a Labour backbencher let it be known how “appalled” she was about the “red-carpeted platform” and “royal photo ops”.
She added that it “doesn’t help Britain to be lavishing pomp on a president so divisive, childish and destructive.”
Fast forward six years and the now Foreign Secretary Yvette Cooper was in full glad-handing mode at Stansted Airport to greet Trump for his second state visit last week.
Clearly, she either didn’t anticipate her own party ever returning to power or that Trump might be elected for a second term. Awkward.
PRESIDENT Trump, who says talk show host Jimmy Kimmel was taken off air for peddling “misinformation”, has said taking paracetamol is linked to autism – a highly spurious claim that many esteemed doctors spent most of yesterday refuting.
Is there an Ofcom (or US equivalent FCC) for what comes out of the mouths of state leaders?
FLYING AWAY
A SECOND runway at London Gatwick has been given the go-ahead.
Transport Secretary Heidi Alexander says it’s a “no brainer” for economic growth.
Or, perhaps, further economic decline when its used by the wealth creators to exit this country and never return.
BRAVO HARRY
XHarry Styles completing the Berlin marathon proves A- listers can lead relatively normal lives[/caption]
HARRY STYLES . . . what a dude.
He cycles around the capital on a Lime bike and has now entered a couple of marathons incognito using a fake name.
We only know this because an eagle-eyed person in the crowd snapped him jogging his way to a personal best of under three hours in the Berlin marathon.
Proving even A- listers can lead relatively normal lives if they don’t flounce about indulging in “look at me” behaviour.
SEX UP THE SCRIPT WITH AUSTEN POWERS
HandoutColin Firth as Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice[/caption]
PRIDE and Prejudice screenwriter Andrew Davies added the scene (not in Jane Austen’s book) where Colin Firth’s Mr Darcy emerges from the lake to add, ahem, “more depth to the character”.
“We had a bit of an argument about whether Darcy should be wearing anything when he dives into the lake because when men went bathing in those days they would do it naked,” he says now.
He eventually decided against it, but played a joke on Firth by writing “Darcy has an erection” in the script notes.
Emerald Fennell, director of saucy Saltburn, is currently sexing up period drama Wuthering Heights.
So if she decides to turn her attention to a Jane Austen classic, those old script notes might come in handy.
VINTAGE DECADE
IT feels like yesterday to me, but apparently the 90s is considered to be a vintage decade that’s currently enjoying a nostalgic resurgence.
An exhibition celebrating it is being planned at the Tate Modern, and a new London bar called Bunga 90 has an entrance resembling a video rental store and a range of alcopops such as Bacardi Breezers on sale.
Though one imagines the prices will be firmly rooted in the 2020s.
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