FOR grieving mum Sarah Wagland, Valentine’s Day will always be a date in the calendar her family dreads.
It’s a harrowing reminder of the time her husband-of-30-years was murdered in cold blood by his possessive new girlfriend.
True Life StoriesSarah and her husband Paul Wagland, who was killed by his new girlfriend[/caption]
True Life StoriesPaul met Sonja Blenkiron on Facebook[/caption]
Sarah, now 50, from Bristol, and Paul Wagland, then 52, shared three children and were childhood sweethearts until they separated in 2022.
Five weeks later, on Valentine’s Day, Paul was lonely and joined Facebook Dating, where he met Sonja Blenkiron, 41, who began abusing and isolating him from his family.
Paul suffered from domestic violence in silence for a year. As Valentine’s Day approached again last year, he tried to leave Blenkiron – but during a confrontation she stabbed him to death.
Now Sarah is speaking out in a bid to raise awareness of male domestic abuse.
Sarah, a learning mentor, tells The Sun: “Paul was too proud to seek help and that truly kills me.
“Too many men in the UK are struggling in silence. Please, if you notice any signs like this in a man, reach out and trust your gut instinct.
“I wish we could’ve done more and maybe Paul would be alive today.”
Sarah and Paul, an online carpet business owner, were childhood sweethearts and married in 2003.
They shared three kids – Jess, 30, James, 28 and Katie, 25.
Sarah says: “Paul was besotted, and did everything for our kids and grandchildren. He was a devoted husband to me too.
“Paul was all I’d ever known, and our marriage was stronger than ever.”
Heartbreaking split
But over the years, Paul began to push his wife away emotionally after the sudden loss of his brother.
They grew apart, and in December 2022, Sarah asked for a separation.
True Life StoriesPaul was a devoted dad to his kids[/caption]
True Life StoriesHe and Sarah married in 2003[/caption]
Sarah says: “Paul sobbed and said he thought we’d grow old together. We were heartbroken and cried for days. I just wanted us both to be happy again.”
In January 2022 Paul moved out of the family home into his mum’s place.
Paul still went to the gym with his son, saw the kids most days and dropped his grandkids to school every morning.
The next month, Paul met Blenkiron, who lived on the other side of Bristol, online.
I wish we could’ve done more and maybe Paul would be alive today
Sarah Wagland
Sarah says: “This woman I didn’t recognise checked into a restaurant with Paul on Facebook and her caption read, ‘Out for dinner with my hubby.’
“I was upset and confused. We’d only split five weeks before. I spoke to Paul and he told me how he’d been lonely on Valentine’s Day and had joined Facebook Dating.
“He was confused as to why she wrote the caption and asked her to delete it.
“But after that, Paul suddenly stopped seeing and speaking to the kids. It wasn’t like him at all.
“They were his world. It was so bizarre and concerning.”
‘Toxic and controlling’
True Life StoriesPaul with his two daughters, whom he was very close to[/caption]
True Life StoriesSarah says she realised Sonja was controlling Paul[/caption]
Male domestic abuse on the rise
Domestic violence against men deals with the abuse experienced by men and boys, aged 16 or over, in a relationship such as marriage, cohabitation or even within a family.
It can be both mental and physical, including psychological, sexual, financial and emotional.
Domestic abuse comes in many different forms, and can include controlling and coercive behaviour through intimidation, isolation and threats of violence.
Some cases can escalate to becoming physical, with sexual abuse and physical or sexual violence as common as emotional torment.
The Office for National Statistics figures show every year that one in the three victims of domestic abuse are male, equating to 699,000 men in 21/22 (1.671m women).
One in six-seven men and one in four women will be a victim of domestic abuse in their lifetime.
Of domestic abuse crimes recorded by the police, 25 per cent were committed against men.
Only 4.7 per cent of victims of domestic abuse being supporting by local domestic services are men according to SafeLives data.
In 2021/22, 18 men died at the hands of their partner or ex-partner compared to 60 women, statistics from ManKind Initiative reveal.
For men, it is the highest figure since 2008/09 and doubles that from 2019/20. It is one man every three weeks.
For help and support, contact the ManKind helpline on 01823 334244 or visit https://mankind.org.uk/
Paul also blocked Sarah on everything, and months later, he turned up to his granddaughter’s birthday party looking distressed.
Sarah says: “Jess told me how Paul was on the phone to Sonja throughout the party telling her exactly what he was doing and seemed very agitated.
“It was evident that Sonja was toxic and controlling.”
The next month, Sarah’s daughter was texting her dad when she realised it was in fact Blenkiron using his phone.
Blenkiron called her a “c***”, said she’d “ripped her clothes up” and also texted: “You’re a stupid little girl, you want your daddy all to yourself.”
It was evident that Sonja was toxic and controlling
Sarah Wagland
Meanwhile, Paul found himself trapped in Sonja’s flat often as he worked from home, while Sonja didn’t.
Sarah says: “We found out through people that Sonja was known to be an alcoholic and caused a lot of dramas.
“We heard they were having huge arguments and Sonja kept calling the police drunk and making false claims about Paul.
“Whenever that happened, Paul would go home to his mum’s and it was the only time the family would hear from him. I was worried sick about him.”
‘Stay away’
True Life StoriesPaul with his kids when they were younger[/caption]
True Life StoriesSonja messaged Paul’s daughters on his phone[/caption]
True Life StoriesThe texts became increasingly nasty[/caption]
Meanwhile, Blenkiron continued to target Sarah’s daughter, Jess, as she was closest to her father.
Sarah says: “Once Sonja told Jess she’d get her dad locked up, so I grabbed the phone and confronted her for bothering my daughter.
“Sonja was slurring, saying she the love of Paul’s life. I could barely make out what she was saying but I called her a rebound and told her to stay away from my family.”
Soon after that, Paul kept escaping to his mum’s more often, and began talking to the kids again.
In November 2022, the family got the idea that Paul was finally going to leave Blenkiron.
Once Sonja told Jess she’d get her dad locked up, so I grabbed the phone and confronted her for bothering my daughter
Sarah Wagland
Months later, in January 2023, his and Blenkiron’s one year anniversary on Valentine’s Day was approaching.
Sarah’s children got a text from Paul at 10pm in the evening saying he missed and loved them.
Unbeknown to the family, that night he’d packed a bag, toiletries and put his coat on and confronted Blenkiron.
Neighbours heard him crying, then heard a very loud thud.
Blenkiron stabbed him in the chest in the kitchen, with a large kitchen knife.
‘She didn’t shed a tear’
Avon & Somerset PoliceWhen she was arrested, Sonja didn’t shed a tear[/caption]
True Life StoriesSonja tried to claim she’d acted in self defence[/caption]
After he hit the floor, she pulled it out of his chest, washed her blood-stained clothes in the bathroom, had a cigarette and visited her neighbour to tell him she’d killed Paul.
It took her an hour to call emergency services, and when they tried to get her to help him over the phone she refused, claiming he was already dead.
When officers arrested her, she didn’t shed a tear. She even asked calmly if she could get her shoes.
Blenkiron claimed Paul strangled her, and that she’d only wanted to nick his arm in self-defence. But there were no strangulation marks on her neck, and she kept changing her story.
Sarah says: “When I found out, my world ended. That evil woman robbed me of my Paul, and my children of their father.
When I found out, my world ended. That evil woman robbed me of my Paul, and my children of their father
Sarah Wagland
“The kids were a complete mess and all screamed and cried hysterically.
“Thinking back at all the signs, I kept being sick. We knew Paul was going to leave her.
“She murdered him in cold blood and I’d barely had time to grieve our 30-year marriage. Suddenly he was gone forever.”
In August 2023, Sarah and her family faced Blenkiron at Bristol Crown Court.
They were shown bodycam footage of police previously visiting Blenkiron’s flat, where Paul was seen with bruises, black eyes and a split lip.
Sarah says: “In the video, that happened months before, he told the policeman he hurt himself playing football.
“My heart broke. He was struggling in silence. I wished he’d reached out to us.
“All Sonja’s neighbours took the stand, detailing the screams and cries they’d heard from Paul throughout the relationship. She’d been abusing him for a year.”
Cold-blooded killer
True Life StoriesPaul with his family[/caption]
Sonja Blenkiron, 41, of Hartcliffe, was found guilty of one count of murder and was sentenced to life, with a minimum term of 15 years.
Sarah says: “He’d cut the kids off, even though they were his world. He became a shell of his former self. And now we all knew why.
We were relieved Sonja was convicted but nothing could ever bring him back
Sarah Wagland
“We were relieved Sonja was convicted but nothing could ever bring him back.
“Paul was a caring dad, and grandad, and a loving husband for so many years.
“Whilst that monster played the victim, we all know she’s nothing more than a cold-blooded killer.
“Please seek help if you are going through what Paul did. Men struggle with domestic violence too and more awareness needs to be raised.”
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