A WOMAN who was sexually abused by her brother from the age of five has opened up on her pain after her mum chose to defend her sibling.
Shavoughne Firth, now 27, bravely waived her legal right to anonymity to tell the story of how she was sexually assaulted by her brother Kieran, who is 11 years older than her.
FacebookShavoughne Firth, now 27, bravely waived her legal right to anonymity to tell how she was sexually abused by her older brother[/caption]
FacebookShavoughne Firth, now 27, said the abuse made her feel ‘alienated and lost’[/caption]
Devon and Cornwall PoliceKieran Firth, 37, has been jailed for eight years[/caption]
The mum said the abuse at the family home near Penzance, Cornwall, made her feel “alienated, lost and not human”, a court heard.
Brave Shavoughne said she wants to raise awareness around sexual abuse within families, adding: “I’m grieving for that little girl that had to go through all that but I’m also grieving for the adult version of myself who doesn’t have a mother now.”
Kieran Firth, now 37, was sentenced to eight years in prison earlier this month.
Firth, of St Aubyns in Goldsithney, near Penzance, appeared at Exeter Crown Court on Wednesday, December 4, for sentencing.
He denied the offences but was found guilty on five counts of sexual offences against a child, including two counts of indecent assault, two of assault by penetration and one of sexual assault following a trial earlier this year.
The court heard how Firth was 16 when the abuse began and continued until he was aged 22.
Shavoughne was aged just 5 to 12 during the offences, which she said has had a “deep and lasting impact” on her existence.
Shavoughne, who left the family home for the first time aged 15 and then permanently at age 18 while heavily pregnant, read an emotive statement aloud to the courtroom and to her abuser ahead of the judge’s verdict.
During her statement she revealed what happened to her has forever shaped her life and who she is, adding that she has even attempted to take her own life as a result.
But most painful of all for her was how her mum, who sat in the courtroom to support her brother, didn’t believe or support her.
A significant portion of her victim impact statement read to the courtroom, alleged how her mother stood by her brother instead of believing her.
“I remember gathering the courage to tell my mum that my brother was doing things to me in the bath,” she read.
“Her response was dismissive: ‘Don’t be silly, he is only washing you’. In that moment I felt a crushing sense of isolation.
“My voice, my pain, was silence. I learned the truth I carried was not worthy of belief and instead of finding solace in my family, I felt even more alienated.
“Desperate for connection, I wrote a letter to my mum expressing how I felt like an outsider in my own home. I poured my heart into those words hoping she would understand my feelings of exclusion and sadness but those feelings were never acknowledged.
“Instead, I was left to grapple with the notion that I did not belong and my experiences were not believed or were too shameful to be spoken about openly. This created a chasm in our relationship that I still feel today.”
Shavoughne told the court how the pain of the abuse has not only affected her emotional wellbeing but has also led to her being diagnosed with depression, anxiety, schizophrenia and PTSD.
The mum told of how she struggles daily with intrusive thoughts, flashbacks, dissociation and the overwhelming feeling of fear and isolation.
How you can get help
Women’s Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
Always keep your phone nearby.
Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
If you are in danger, call 999.
Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – [email protected].
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
At the age of eight the abuse briefly stopped following an altercation between Kieran and another brother, Nathan, and she felt a “sense of protection” for a short time.
But Nathan, the only family member who believed her, was soon imprisoned and she was alone again.
Shavoughne’s statement continued: “The abuse resumed and I was left to defend myself once again.
“Despite the overwhelming sense and fear, I’ve always remembered that Nathan was the only one who ever defended me.
“My mum’s reaction shattered my hope. She told me, ‘You do what you want but I won’t be able to live with another son in prison. In that moment I felt an overwhelming wave of guilt wash over me.
“The idea that my truth could lead to more pain and hurt in the family made me feel like an immense burden. I was terrified that speaking out would fracture our family further.”
‘YOU WILL BE BELIEVED’
Speaking to Cornwall Live following the sentencing, Shavoughne called the entire experience “very surreal”.
A doting mother to her own child, now aged eight, she said: “The past few years especially it has been difficult to even look at my son because he’s been the age I was when I was going through this.
“He really is the reason I came forward and my reason for everything, really.”
She added: “My life just could have been so different and I want to have some sort of good come from this and do good by other survivors and help them come forward.
“I’m a strong, independent woman and I don’t want people to think of me as a victim and as a survivor. If my story can help other people; men, women, children, and for them to know it doesn’t matter when this has happened to them, historic or now, then you will be believed.
“I’m grieving for that little girl that had to go through all that but I’m also grieving for the adult version of myself who doesn’t have a mother now. I don’t have my parents in my life anymore.
“They’ve chosen their side and they are sticking to it. It’s something I will never get over but it’s something I’ve had to live with and learn to live with, I feel like the hardest part of all of this would be not having my parents support me.”
Looking to the future, she hopes to work with the authorities and support groups to help refine the criminal justice system so that victims have further support throughout the process outside of family and friends, which not everyone has.
“I can still remember when I had to give my video evidence and I feel like that was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do my whole life.
“You’ve got to relive everything in so much detail. Exactly what he did, when he did it and how. Then to find myself afterwards being greeted or comforted by no one. I’ve always had myself and myself only and that’s how I’ve always felt, until now.”
FacebookShavoughne says she is now speaking up to try and help others[/caption]
FacebookThe brave mum spoke out in court[/caption] Published: [#item_custom_pubDate]
