IN A desperate bid to make Britain full of light breezes and scented pine freshness, the Government has announced that if you buy an electrical car, they will give you a chunky £3,750.
But not if you buy a Tesla.
Gettythe Government has announced that if you buy an electrical car, as long as it’s not a Tesla, they will give you a chunky £3,750[/caption]
GettyWe are told that the cost of this scheme is going to be £650million… but did Diane Abbot do the maths?[/caption]
Why? Ah well, that’s simple. The Labourites want to be fully eco-mental of course, but not if it means putting money into the pocket of Elon Musk.
Because he’s the anti-Christ. He helped put Donald Trump in the White House. He made a Nazi salute.
So yes, they want to be green but not if it means helping that far-right bastard.
The £3,750 grant is only available if you buy an electrical car that costs less than £37,000.
Teslas start at £39,000. If you buy one of those, you’re on your own sunshine.
There is, however, more to this story than meets the eye. We are told that the cost of this scheme is going to be £650million. But who did the maths? Diane Abbott?
Because they don’t make sense – £650million is only enough to pay the grants for 173,333 cars. And that’s about half the number of EVs sold in the UK last year.
The Government must know this. They have access to Google, and they have calculators on their phones.
So they must know that if this scheme runs for a while, it’ll end up costing billions.
And how can they justify that? How can they say they have no money to mend potholes or repair schools or keep the Navy going? But they do have enough to help someone buy some electrical crap from China.
Don’t they see what they’re doing? They’re actually paying us to send our money to Beijing.
It gets worse. They are prepared to subsidise people who want to move around but as we have seen in the last year, they are absolutely not prepared to subsidise the food you eat.
There is no government money for farmers. All of the grants and the subsidies that were introduced back in the last century to make sure that even the poorest people in society could afford to feed their families are systematically being taken away.
Rachel Reeves tells us she has to do this because the coffers are empty.
And yet there are billions on offer for people who need transport so they can pick up their benefits more easily.
AlamyThe £3,750 grant is only available if you buy an electrical car that costs less than £37,000, and Teslas start at £39,000[/caption]
AFPTesla CEO Elon Musk making a Nazi salute[/caption]
ARMY PROBE NOT ON
SuppliedPrivate Tony Harrison, a paratrooper from London, was shot five times in the back in 1991 while watching television with his girlfriend[/caption]
THERE’S a lot to be depressed about at the moment, but I think the thing that’s getting me down most of all is the plan to investigate former soldiers who served in Northern Ireland to see if they shot someone that perhaps they shouldn’t.
There is to be no investigation into the yobboes who were throwing petrol bombs at them or blowing up buildings in the UK.
The thugs who shot Private Tony Harrison, a paratrooper from London five times in the back in 1991 while watching television with his girlfriend.
No one will be bringing them to trial.
The British government is only interested in chasing British soldiers.
We’re told by Starmer’s Stasi army of human rights lawyers that the chance of a conviction is very small. But very small isn’t the same thing as “impossible” is it.
So imagine. You’re a former soldier. You’ve now retired and are spending your old age, tending to your roses and reflecting on a life well led.
A life where you were prepared to sacrifice yourself for the good of the country and the people in it.
And now you’ve been told that a secret army of lefties is going to be looking into your activities from when you were in your twenties and that if anything untoward comes to light, you’ll have to go to prison.
It sickens me.
I’m not sure our court system is working very well at the moment.
Because if you cut down a tree and in so doing slightly damage a wall, you get four years plus change.
But if you stagger out of a Wetherspoons pub and punch a police officer in the face, you get fined £160.
GettyOur court system is not working very well… as a result, if you cut down a tree you get four years plus change[/caption]
JOHN’S AXING A PUZZLE
GettyJohn Torode seems to have been sacked from MasterChef for an offence even though no one can quite remember what the offence was[/caption]
FUNNY isn’t it how Top Gear was always seen as the bad boy of the BBC.
Every week, we’d be in the papers for doing something wrong or saying something inappropriate.
And as a result, we were always being carpeted by bosses who told us to sit up straight and clean our teeth and behave ourselves.
Ha. It now turns out that compared to every other show on the Beeb, we were saints.
But that said, I am a bit worried about this John Torode chap from MasterChef.
Because he seems to have been sacked for an offence even though no one can quite say what the offence was.
He’s been told that at a private party seven or eight years ago, he sang a song which someone thought was racist and that as a result, he has to go.
Who reported him? Dunno. Was there any context?
No one’s saying.
BOTTLE JOB ON ‘MILK’
HandoutBoffins have announced that soya milk is potentially harmful and could be poisonous to young children[/caption]
BOFFINS advising the Government have announced that there’s a problem with vegan milk.
Well yes. It’s not milk.
But there’s more to it than that. They say it must be stuffed full of chemicals if it’s going to be good for us.
And that soya milk is potentially harmful – they warn it may give young children something called Kawasaki Disease which will crack their lips and give them a fever.
So what will our vegetarian leader do about this do we think?
Reverse his thinking and on the way home tonight, stop off for a Big Mac and a shake?
Doubt it. I suspect he’ll throw the report in the bin, and immediately import another avocado from Ecuador.
IT’S ALL A BIT LIKE 1976 . . . WITH NO ESCAPE FROM REALITY
PA:Press Association/PA ImagesA sunbather on cracked ground in 1976[/caption]
Getty – ContributorFreddie Mercury on stage[/caption]
BACK in 1976, there was such a long spell of hot, dry weather that hosepipe bans became necessary.
And there was a Labour government in power who were busy making a complete mess of everything.
The economy was tanking. Strikes were rife.
And the Prime Minister was claiming that he’d inherited all the problems from the Tories.
Meanwhile, there were calls for the party to lurch to the left and in the middle of it all, the country had to go to the International Monetary Fund and take out what at the time was the biggest loan the world had ever seen.
We were called, with good reason, the sick man of Europe.
And now let’s spool forward to 2025. The year so far as been so hot and dry that a hosepipe ban is in force across large parts of the country.
And there’s a Labour government in power that’s tanking the economy and blaming the mess it’s making on the Tories. Many are saying we are the sick man of Europe, and that soon we will have to go cap in hand to the IMF.
The only difference between then and now is that then, we had some decent music to entertain us. Bohemian Rhapsody for example.
And we were all eventually rescued by Mrs Thatcher, who told us we had to take our medicine and turned us into an economic powerhouse.
Today, we have Pink Pony Club and a promise that in the next election, a bunch of people who aren’t old enough to drink in a pub and get all their information from TikTok will be allowed to vote in the General Election.
Which virtually guarantees the nightmare is here to stay.
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