Ghastly Baroness Bra profiteered in Covid crisis then lied about it to the Press

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THE great thing about the Conservative Party is that they keep ­throwing up these absolutely awful people, one after another. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.

The latest is a real piece of work. Her name is Michelle Mone. Or Baroness Mone to you, you plebs.

PAMichelle Mone – or Baroness Mone as she is also known – has finally admitted profiting from dodgy PPE equipment to the tune of £60million[/caption]

AFPThe Labour leader, Sir Keir Starmer, has said she should be kicked out of the House of Lords[/caption]

She sits in the House of Lords. In theory she was ­ennobled for being an entrepreneur. She flogged underwear. And then diet pills, which many experts thought were utterly ­useless.

 One said: “Her diet pills do absolutely nothing.” He added: “There is a huge objection to ­playing games with people’s health.

“Selling quack weight-loss pills to vulnerable people, who actually need proper evidence-based help from medical services, is out of order.”

Still, they gave her a seat in the Lords.

Baroness Bra doesn’t go there that often, mind. Prefers her tax haven bolthole on the Isle of Man, where she can count her money and sail on her yacht. It’s called Lady M. Of course it is.

But to really understand this woman’s ghastliness, you need to know how she profiteered during the Covid crisis and trousered herself £60million of taxpayers’ money.

And then lied through her teeth about this when asked by the Press.

She has now ’fessed up, in a disastrous interview with the BBC’s Laura ­Kuenssberg.

She came across as a greedy, brass-necked, arrogant ­shyster. Which isn’t a surprise, really, seeing as that would seem to be exactly what she is.

The scandal is that she “aggressively” lobbied ministers to award an emergency contract for anti-Covid health and safety equipment to a company led by her husband Doug Barrowman, which they stood to make vast amounts of moolah from.

Absolute scandal

The company was called PPE Medpro. She lied about it having nothing to do with her. During that time of ­pandemic crisis, Medpro was awarded the £200million contract. The work they did — basically shipping over cheapo stuff from China — was useless.

The ­Government is suing ­Medpro because the gowns it received were unusable. That case has yet to be decided.

But what we DO know is that via Medpro, Mone trousered £60million.

Yes, that’s right. A profit of £60million to line the pockets of Mone and her family on a £200million contract. At a time of national emergency. When the rest of the country was skint because it couldn’t go into work.

That, in itself, is an absolute scandal — to profit so grossly from taxpayers’ money during the biggest crisis this ­country has faced since World War Two.

 And to have got that money because she was “fast-tracked” by her mates in Government to be awarded the contract. And then, afterwards, to continually lie about it.

The Labour leader, Sir Keir Starmer, has said she should be kicked out of the House of Lords. So she should.

But frankly, Sir Keir would be better off leaving Mrs Mone exactly where she is and putting her on every Labour poster.

AHA. Lanzarote tourist chiefs are targeting Brits in a new campaign. They want more of us to visit.

This comes only a short while after the locals decided they’d had enough of ­British tourists. And would prefer a higher class of visitor.

 I dunno who they meant. People from Monaco?

In your dreams, Lanzarote. Anyway they’ve changed their minds. Come on over, amigos, we love you really.

 We should tell them to stuff it. Brings to mind an old saying I first heard in Port Talbot. “Don’t p**s on your chips.”

Got to love Brad’s gong-ho dig at royals

Some humourless viewers thought he was embarrassing the Royal Family, but I enjoyed itRex

Pixel8000William and Kate enjoy Bradley’s gags[/caption]

I ENJOYED Bradley Walsh’s hilarious, tongue-in-cheek rant at the Royal Variety Performance about not getting a gong.

Even if some humourless viewers thought he was embarrassing the Royal Family. I enjoyed even more his very funny comment a day or so later on The Chase.

He kept a straight face as he praised the royals and said how important and much loved they were by the British public.

Walsh is waspish and clever and easily the best light entertainer we have.

Rish us well? No, ta

The SunRishi Sunak’s card shows him ambling along in a Santa hat surrounded by his family. It’s Christmas, Rishi. It’s not about YOU[/caption]

The famous card of Blair looking as if Cherie was restraining him from bottling someone

WHY do politicians always send Christmas cards with pictures of themselves on the front?

I’ve just seen Rishi Sunak’s card. It shows him ambling along in a Santa hat surrounded by his family. It’s Christmas, Rishi. It’s not about YOU.

But then they all do it.

For example, there was the famous one of Blair looking as if Cherie was restraining him from bottling someone.

 If anyone else sent you a Christmas card with themselves on the front you would think, rightly: “Why am I friends with this t*t?”

 I think it’s because ­politicians are, at heart, psychotic.

Someone have a word with Rishi. Just ask him, mate – what’s wrong with a robin, or a deer in some snow, or the little baby Jesus in his ­manger?

THINGS that annoy me, part 5,372. Why do I get ads on my computer screen for things I have just bought?

As soon as I order anything online I get ads for the very thing – same make, same model, same seller, same price – flashing up.

No, you morons, I’ve just bought it. Goes to show that AI isn’t quite as clever as some people reckon.

Tone deaf

JUST when you thought the Middle East couldn’t get any worse, now Tony Blair has intervened.

He’s holding talks with Israeli leader ­Benjamin Netanyahu. Show him the door, Benny.

You may have forgotten that Blair was once a Middle East “peace envoy”.

Hilariously, he was appointed after having tried to bring peace to Iraq by bombing the buggery out of it.

There is no situation which could not be made slightly worse by the intervention of Tone.

Clangon a mo fellas

Have scientists finally found the Clangers in outer space?Rex Features

A RADIO telescope in California has picked up possible signs of alien life a billion light years from us.

 The terrible thing is, the aliens seem to be WHISTLING.

The boffins didn’t say what they were whistling. Songs from the shows? The Russian national anthem?

All we know is that there were 35 tiny bursts of these strange noises.

I think there are two possible explanations.

Either they have found the Clangers at last.

 Which will be handy because we could do with some soup wells, even if Deliveroo might find the distance a little taxing.

Or those boffins left the microwave on and it’s interfering with the signal.

 I know which one my money’s on.

THE newspapers have picked up on the fact that our supermarkets are selling Easter eggs – before Christmas! But that’s nothing. I was in our greengrocers yesterday and they were selling . . . pumpkins. Shocking.

It’s a good 300 days to ­Halloween. I also suspect that some of the Christmas ­promotions in our shops are actually for NEXT Christmas.

 The world is going mad.

Gender sense

AlamyWomen and Equalities minister has issued new common sense guidelines for handling gender issues at schools[/caption]

WELL done, Kemi ­Badenoch. The Women and Equalities minister has issued new guidelines for how schools must deal with “gender- questioning” pupils.

 First and foremost, schools have no duty to help a child “transition”.

Their duties are framed by the child’s ­biological sex.

 And parents must always be involved in any discussions.

 Quite right.

 Now, sack any teachers who refuse to play by the rules.

 This lunacy has been going on for far too long.

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