A BLOODY war brought a British soldier and a young boy together in one of the most heartwarming stories you will ever read.
Two decades ago, Sgt Wayne Ingram was shown a photo of Stefan Slavic amid the horrors of the Bosnia conflict.
Sgt Wayne Ingram was determined to help Stefan Slavic the moment he met him amid the horrors of the Bosnia conflict
Shutterstock EditorialStefan, then aged just four, was born with terrible facial deformities that would most probably end his short life in a couple of years[/caption]
Stefan and Wayne at Great Ormond Street Hospital, after one of Stefan’s operations in 2014SWNS:South West News Service
Stefan, then aged just four, was born with terrible facial deformities that would most probably end his short life in a couple of years.
The toddler had a rare, severe facial cleft. Where his nose should have been was a large, protruding knob of flesh-covered bone which was slowly working its way into his nasal cavity, forcing his eyes further apart each day.
Father-of-four Wayne says: “He only had one airway and we didn’t know if there were holes in his skull.
“So, at some point he would have contracted some sort of disease, maybe meningitis, that would have ended his life prematurely.”
Heartbroken and holding back tears Wayne, a veteran of Ulster’s Troubles, made an incredible vow — to raise enough money to pay for life-saving surgery that would change the boy’s life for ever.
An incredible £160,000 and five major operations later, Stefan and Wayne are best friends, linked by a unique bond.
Today, now aged 26, Stefan, plays keyboard in a Bosnian folk band, has a glamorous girlfriend and a promising life ahead of him. It is a far cry from his life as a boy being brought up in a country scarred by genocidal war.
Now Wayne, 55, has told the incredible story in a new book, Soldier Of Conscience.
‘Gargantuan task’
In 2003, his regiment, the 9th/12th Lancers were sent to Bosnia where part of their job was to encourage locals to give up their weapons.
Wayne says: “It was never going to happen because they had always lived with war throughout the centuries.
“And they always thought that, at some point, it would happen again. So, when we asked for weapons you would get the odd hunting rifle handed in but nothing much else.”
The other part of the regiment’s job was winning the hearts and minds of locals, but the police chief in Laktasi, near Banja Luka, kept giving British soldiers the slip.
In that moment, I knew that I would protect this beautiful child with my life and do my utmost to ensure his operation went ahead
Sgt Wayne Ingram on meeting Stefan
Wayne says: “He turned out to be the slipperiest eel I had ever tried to net. I needed to think smarter to nab him.
“On the day of our next planned meeting, I arrived at the police station a full hour early.
“He saw me and made a beeline for the back door. I gave chase, tripped over the kerb and went ass over tip in the car park.
“As I lay there he sped off in his car and gave me a quick look over his shoulder, laughing.
“I heard two men giggling behind me. Lying bruised on the dusty ground, I joined in the laughter.
“After they’d helped me, I introduced myself, unaware that several lives were about to change for ever.”
The men were Dragoslav Kovacevic — Laktasi’s Minister of Defence — and his personal assistant Milos Savic.
Over coffee, wounded war veteran Milos showed Wayne a photograph of his toddler son Stefan and asked if any of the hearts and minds in the British Army could do anything to help his boy.
An operation at a specialist hospital in France would cost €30,000. But as Milos only earned a pittance, it was not an option.
Wayne was determined to help the little lad but needed permission from military top brass.
His bosses gave the go-ahead with a warning: “Sergeant Ingram, be careful. This has the potential to become a gargantuan task for you.”
As we chat near his home in Portland, Dorset, Wayne says: “Little did I know that he would be chillingly correct.
“This would be the first day of a 13-year lone, uphill struggle, during which my emotions would reach immense highs, followed by long, dark descents into self-doubt, where I’d feel totally out of my depth, with no idea how to make it to the next stage.”
First, he took a group of his soldiers in a Scimitar tank to meet little Stefan.
As the 6ft 2in sergeant knelt down, the blond-haired boy kissed him on the cheek and said “hallow” in broken English.
Wayne says: “In that moment, I knew that I would protect this beautiful child with my life and do my utmost to ensure his operation went ahead.”
The British soldiers organised a football match against a team of locals who had been on opposing sides during the Balkan conflict.
Wayne says: “We lost 7-3, but at a barbecue afterwards all these people who had previously been fighting for years were sharing food.
Arms amnesty
“The match raised €6,000 and when the locals saw that we really wanted to help, they asked if there was anything they could do.
“I said, ‘We’re looking for an arms amnesty’.
“They replied, ‘Leave it with us’.
Louis Wood – The SunWayne with Stefan and his mum Slavenka in 2014, before his final surgery was carried out[/caption]
Stefan, now 26, is able to live a normal life and is full of gratitude to Wayne – who made it all possiblesupplied
“The following Saturday it was like a scene from Jaws. I said to my corporal, ‘Bloody hell we’re going to need a bigger van’.
“We’d turned up expecting to get a few rifles. There were around 100 AK-47s laid out alongside RPG-7s with warheads.
” Loads and loads of hand grenades, 40 or 50 pistols, tens of thousands of rounds of ammunition, land mines, anti-tank mines. All handed in because they trusted us.
“You had to think, if these are the ones they’re prepared to hand in, how much was still out there?”
After his tour ended in July 2003, Wayne returned to the UK and began raising money in earnest to pay for surgery for Stefan at London’s Great Ormond Street Hospital.
A top Harley Street surgeon, Professor David Dunaway, kindly agreed to operate for free.
But the rest of Stefan’s hospital care, his family’s accommodation and their travel to and from the UK would need to be covered by donations.
Wayne says: “In my naivety, I thought it was just going to be one operation but in the end it was five, the last was 13 years to the day after the first.”
That first operation had been to remove some teeth to prepare Stefan’s mouth for a 12-hour-op in October 2003, that would completely deconstruct his skull, moving his brain out of the way to rebuild the bones like a jigsaw.
Wayne says: “David is an absolute genius. His surgical skills transformed Stefan’s life.
“He became the boy that he had always wanted to be.
“Not once did I ever hear Stefan complain, not once did I see him cry.
“After his 12-hour operation we didn’t know whether he’d lose his sight and for four or five days he had his eyes covered up.
“One morning I walked into the hospital ward where they had removed the plasters and Stefan just started smiling.
Morphine
“Even as a 13-year-old — when he’d had cosmetic surgery on his nose to open his airways — he had a syringe driver with morphine in it, but he never pressed it so they took it away after a day.”
Stefan had three more operations to correct his nose and facial features as his bones grew over the years.
Stefan is an amazing man. He works full-time in a warehouse and plays in a folk band. He’s such a good-looking guy and has been in a relationship for quite some time with his long-term girlfriend
Sgt Wayne Ingram on Stefan
While all this was going on, Wayne discovered that he was suffering from complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, caused by a bomb blast 15 years earlier in Belfast.
His marriage fell apart but Wayne continued to honour his promise to help Stefan.
Wayne says: “Raising £160,000 to pay for flights for Stefan’s family and his hospital care took a lot out of me after 13 years.
“There were plenty of sleepless nights wondering where I was going to get the money from.
“At one point I had a shortfall where I was going to have to sell my motorbike until a stranger I’d never met before contacted me through the local paper.
“She and her husband had followed Stefan’s story from day one. Sadly, her husband had died and she gave us £10,000. We weren’t allowed to use her name, she only wanted to be called the ‘kind granny’.
“This country’s amazing. It’s called Great Britain for a reason.
“Whenever there’s a hardship, people put their hands in their pockets and the community comes together and helps people.”
Wayne, who is now remarried and works as an offshore paramedic, stays in touch with Stefan using a translation app.
He says: “Stefan is an amazing man. He works full-time in a warehouse and plays in a folk band.
“He’s such a good-looking guy and has been in a relationship for quite some time with his long-term girlfriend.
“She’s beautiful and they just look amazing together.”
Stefan sent a message to Wayne: “You changed my life for the better.
“I love you my friend for ever. My gratitude cannot be expressed in words.”
Soldier Of Conscience: From Fighting The IRA To Battling PTSD, by Wayne Ingram MBE, published by Pen & Sword, is out now. All royalties go to Scoliosis Support & Research.
Wayne has written a book about his amazing mission to help young Stefan – Soldier Of Conscience: From Fighting The IRA To Battling PTSD is out nowArthur Edwards / The Sun
A 12-year-old lad hangs from the barrel of a destroyed tank in Sarajevo in 1996AFP Published: [#item_custom_pubDate]
