I SPENT Saturday afternoon watching porn.
Yup, with some trepidation and a nice cup of tea, I popped on Channel 4’s (very) controversial Bonnie Blue documentary on catch-up.
Olivia WestBonnie compared her endeavours to being an ultra-marathon runner – but there is no gold medal at the end of all this[/caption]
Channel 4Bonnie Blue left viewers outraged in her new documentary[/caption]
Frankly, I may as well have whacked on Pornhub and been done with it.
To say it was explicit is an understatement. I saw things I can never unsee.
Men in balaclavas gang-banging this 26-year-old “content creator”, penises going in places I didn’t want to see them going, scrawny necks being faux- strangled, Bonnie’s head merrily bobbing up and down as she worked her way through over 1,000 men. (More on these low-lifes later).
Not surprisingly, Channel 4 has come in for some criticism.
Advertisers have pulled out, as it were, of online adverts and now the independent pornography taskforce is proposing legislation this autumn to ban this type of “barely legal” coverage.
The show, 1,000 Men And Me: The Bonnie Blue Story, was as eye-opening as it was disturbing.
After setting her world record for most men shagged in 24 hours — her senior school must be so proud — Bonnie was seen blowing her nose (which, I suppose, made a change from other things) and cheerfully admitted she’d come down with the worst flu she’d ever experienced.
That, of course, being the only thing coming for Bonnie — a woman who admits she gets no sexual gratification from fornicating with anyone “barely legal” and over.
Channel 4 had every right to air this programme, though.
It may have made for tough viewing, unless you like this kind of thing, but is a story that deserves our attention.
As a public service provider, the broadcaster has a remit to inform and cover things other channels may be too squeamish to cover.
For, like her or loathe her, Bonnie Blue — real name Tia Billinger — is a morality tale of our era.
In 50 years’ time, if not now, young scholars will be studying this cultural phenomenon — a woman who bragged about earning £1.5million a MONTH.
She need never work again.
So why she doesn’t just emigrate back to Australia where she previously lived with her ex-public school boyfriend, and change her name, I will never know.
But Bonnie, like so many young people, patently wants to be famous. She craves the spotlight like a flower craves the sun.
Yet Ms Blue is no English rose.
She is like so many of Gen Z — an influencer, desperately trying to shock and provoke, and make money.
Obviously, it’s her body, her choice.
She’s doing nothing illegal, no matter how morally dubious.
Glamorising porn
She also revealed on the programme she’d put her entire family on the payroll so they never need work again.
She is many things but, ultimately, above all else, she is a very canny businesswoman.
Sites like OnlyFans — with whom she’s currently locked in a dispute — are glamorising porn. Young women are putting their bodies on full display and preying on the over-testosteroned nature of men.
If I found out a male friend followed Bonnie or, even worse, had queued up to use her services, I would never look at him in the same way. I’m not sure we could still be friends.
Channel 4Bonnie is many things but, ultimately, above all else, she is a very canny businesswoman[/caption]
Imagine finding out your dad, or brother, cousin or husband, was a fan. Grounds for divorce, surely.
Likely diseases aside, what she is doing is vile. But the men who enable her are far, far worse.
If they didn’t willingly pay, no one would have heard of her.
The problem is, today no one under 25 wants to work. As three million Brits are unemployed, they see a nine-to-five office job as overt failure.
Why study for seven years in med school when you can stick a tripod up and get your tits out aged 18? Why drive a train, or graft in a bar, or clean the streets when — on paper — you can earn so much more, ostensibly for less.
Bonnie compared her endeavours to being an ultra-marathon runner.
Certainly, she needed stamina and hydration for her grotesque feat of endurance.
But there is no podium finish or gold medal at the end of all this for Bonnie.
Only a life of shame or, at the very least, notoriety, while setting a stupidly dangerous precedent for those vulnerable teenagers looking at her as a trailblazer.
Parking mad
LAST week I had to go to hospital for some tests. Afterwards, I got stuck in the car park having not bought a ticket.
I will never, ever understand why patients are made to pay for parking in an NHS car park – and how a company can veritably profit from the ill and/or elderly.
Lindsay’s love of my life . . . apparently
NICE to see Lindsay Lohan making her Hollywood return following a drug and booze-induced exodus.
Not least because she is my exit strategy.
GettyLindsay Lohan has made her Hollywood return[/caption]
A few years ago, I made a work trip to see Meghan Markle’s old psychic – an American chap called Richard Win – and he predicted I would one day work with Lindsay then we’d fall in love and run off into the sunset together.
Which seemed a stretch for many reasons.
When I asked him whether I’d die alone eaten by Alsatians, Richard replied: “I don’t think so.
“I see a relationship before the end of the year. You might date a redhead. Have you met Lindsay Lohan?
“I see you working with her.
“She might be sexually attracted to you. I see a relationship.”
Expect to see me on the red carpet any day now.
TATTOO STUPID
“SUN tattoos” are the Next Big Thing, according to Gen Z.
Youngsters are frying themselves in the sun, while strategically using sunscreen in different shapes on their body so as to get white- looking tats.
Obviously cancer charities are up in arms at this latest TikTok trend.
Doctors are horrified and Yannick Neuder, the French health minister who is a cardio- logist by training, has posted his own video on social media warning the practice could cause serious skin damage or cancer in later life.
Alas, whether a bespectacled 56-year-old minister in suit and tie can influence teenagers remains to be seen.
NICE FRY, CALVIN
InstagramCalvin Harris has become a dad for the first time and shared a sweet photo – alongside snaps of Vick Hope’s placenta[/caption]
WHAT is it about celebs and needless over-sharing?
While congratulations are in order for Calvin Harris and Vick Hope on the birth of their son, Micah, why the DJ felt the need to include a photo of her PLACENTA, complete with umbilical cord, followed by said placenta chopped up in what appeared to be an air fryer, is beyond me.
All rather Hand That Rocks The Cradle.
Still, nice with some chianti, perhaps.
Worth a watch
THE Assassin on Amazon Prime, starring Keeley Hawes as a gun-wielding hitwoman, is well worth a watch.
It also stars Alan Dale, a.k.a. Jim Robinson from Neighbours.
Who, no matter what meaty role he plays, will always, in my eyes, just be Jim from Neighbours.
El of a chance to shine
GettyModel Ellie Goldstein has signed up for the new series of Strictly and plans to break down barriers[/caption]
STRICTLY Come Dancing has had a lot written about it recently – much of it bad, and much of it written by me.
But what I will say for the show, and the BBC, is that it deserves praise for helping to break down barriers and raise visibility for minority groups who, for too many years, have been ignored.
The signing of actress Ellie Goldstein, who has Down syndrome, is a wonderful one.
Brilliant blind comedian Chris McCausland and supremely talented deaf actress Rose Ayling-Ellis did so much for their respective communities.
Tellingly, both of them won their series.
I’m told Ellie is a great dancer, so here’s hoping that she has similar success.
TRULY, whoever is doing the PR for fat jabs deserves a raise.
One minute they’re being hailed as a prospective cure for osteoarthritis, the next they are curbing addiction and saving us from heart disease.
According to latest reports, they could also prove to be a cure for Alzheimer’s.
What remarkable drugs they are (pancreatic cancer risk aside).
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