AS awkward encounters go, it was right up there with one of those “business as usual” photocalls when a famous man has been caught with his trousers down and wheels his wife out for the cameras.
Except that, this time, it was Sir Keir Starmer’s right-hand woman Rachel Reeves gurning her way through an “unscheduled” (aka painfully staged) appearance designed to limit the damage sustained by the sight of her crying in the Commons just the day before.
GettyKeir Starmer and Rachel Reeves’ excruciatingly awkward and clumsily choreographed hug after the Chancellor wept during PMQs[/caption]
The heat was on the PM, painted as callous for failing to publicly back his Chancellor or notice her distress, so the spin doctors got busy with this blatant damage-limitation exercise which, to my mind, had more to do with saving his reputation than hers.
“Nothing to see here” was the intended message as she sat next to the PM, laughing with all the gusto of someone enjoying a private audience with none other than comic genius Billy Connolly.
Nothing’s that funny dear — least of all the launch of Labour’s 10 Year Health Plan.
Rictus grin firmly in place, she gave a blessedly brief speech to assembled health workers, telling them “it’s great to be here today” but fooling no one as to the true intention of her presence there.
There followed a hug with the PM that, if you imagine the prospect of Ann Widdecombe and John Sergeant performing a rumba together on a Strictly Christmas special, would give you some idea of how excruciatingly awkward and clumsily choreographed it was.
To my mind, it would have been a far greater power move had Reeves refused to take part in this charade and let her political colleagues stew in the hot tears that many believe were caused by her exhaustion and frustration.
Those old enough to remember the scandal of former Tory Cabinet minister David Mellor having a tawdry fling with a bit-part actress, still squirm at the memory of his wife and children being paraded at the end of the family driveway for an awkward “business as usual” press photocall.
To this day, a “five-bar gate moment” is the phrase used by journalists when it comes to jaw-dropping displays of shamelessness in the Westminster bubble.
But when former Health Secretary Matt Hancock was caught on his office CCTV snogging an aide, his wife Martha emerged alone from the family home for a dog walk, head held high and looking a million dollars.
After all, he was the idiot, not her. So why should she make it easy for him?
And it’s not just politicians.
After actor Dominic West was spotted getting cosy with former co-star Lily James in Rome, he later posed with wife Catherine Fitzgerald for the assembled paps outside their home alongside a sign that read “Our marriage is strong and we’re very much together”.
When Matt Hancock was caught on his office CCTV snogging an aide, his wife Martha emerged alone from the family home for a dog walk, head held high
Shutterstock EditorialThose old enough to remember the scandal of David Mellor still squirm at the memory of his wife and children being paraded at the end of the family driveway[/caption]
They remain so.
Whether the political union of Starmer-Reeves lasts much longer remains to be seen.
BOASTING about spending your money on a great experience, rather than buying a vastly expensive watch, is more socially acceptable apparently.
And of course, another bonus is that a nice holiday or Michelin-starred dinner can’t be snatched off your wrist by some oik on an e-bike.
RISKY PATH TO TAKE
THE Salt Path – a supposedly “non-fiction” book about a couple’s struggle against adversity – sold two million copies and was made into a movie starring Gillian Anderson and Jason Isaacs.
But The Observer has now revealed a few potholes in the story of “Raynor and Moth Winn” who, it turns out, were once known as Sally and Tim Walker.
Instead of losing their money in a business deal that went wrong, it’s alleged that Sally stole £64,000 from a previous employer and their UK home was repossessed when a loan to repay it turned sour.
On top of that, several neurologists have cast doubt on whether Moth really has the rare and debilitating neurological condition corticobasal degeneration.
Consequently, PSPA, the only charity that supports people with CBD and progressive supranuclear palsy, has now cut ties with the couple and says “too many questions remain unanswered”.
One might be why no one at the charity thought it odd someone who claimed to have the condition for 18 years was seemingly so well.
But the biggest mystery is that this couple thought they could blithely reinvent history in such a public way without someone from their past calling them out.
Heavy on the testosterone
SuppliedThe Sun’s Jane Moore with Sharon Osbourne[/caption]
ROSS HALFINOzzy during his last ever live performance at Birmingham’s Villa Park[/caption]
ON Saturday, Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne invited me to Birmingham’s Villa Park to see his and Black Sabbath’s last ever live performance.
A fan told me: “It’s the greatest line-up in metal history.”
And, sure enough, rock stars such as Guns N’ Roses, Anthrax,
Yungblud, Slayer, Aerosmith’s Steven Tyler and Metallica turned up to play tribute to the godfather of heavy metal himself, with all proceeds going to three charities.
Ozzy was moved to tears by it all and so was the 40,000-strong crowd which, despite looking like a Hell’s Angel convention, was joyous and trouble-free.
And as if that wasn’t enough testosterone for one day, movie stars Jason Momoa (Aquaman) and Joe Manganiello (Magic Mike) were among the fans flocking to see the Prince of Darkness perform one last time.
There wasn’t a metrosexual shaved chest in sight.
RIVAL’S DECKED
THE former head of the Royal Navy has been sacked following an investigation into his extra-marital affair with a female colleague serving, er, under him.
Sir Ben Key is bright and skilled enough to have once commanded four warships yet, like so many high-achieving men, appears to have thrown judgment out of the window when it comes to matters of the penis heart.
He was investigated following a formal complaint to the MoD from the female officer’s non-serving husband.
As an act of revenge, it sure beats sewing prawns into someone’s curtain hem.
KILLER HADN’T A CLUE
AFPErin Patterson was found guilty of murdering three in-law relatives with death cap mushrooms in a beef Wellington, and the attempted murder of Ian Wilkinson[/caption]
AUSSIE Erin Patterson murdered her in-laws by deliberately serving them death cap mushrooms in beef Wellington.
During the ten-week trial, it emerged that her mobile phone data showed she had travelled to two locations where the lethal fungi had been spotted, bought a food dehydrator on the way home, made individual servings instead of one joint, put her own portion on a different coloured plate to the others, was later caught on CCTV buying sandwiches despite claiming to be suffering from sickness and diarrhoea, and was spotted dumping the food dehydrator at the local tip.
A nasty piece of work she clearly is, but master criminal she clearly ain’t.
HEALTH ALERT
THE proposed NHS app dubbed “doctor in your pocket” is being heralded as “an indispensable part of life” that will help reduce the number of people heading to A&E for help with medical issues.
Aside from the fact that a significant proportion of elderly people will struggle to use the technology, it will also rely heavily on using artificial intelligence to answer clinical questions.
But as the Wimbledon line-call shambles demonstrates, new technology isn’t infallible (particularly when someone has accidentally switched it off).
So if the AI gives advice that turns out to be incorrect, where will the legal responsibility lie for any mistakes?
ONE in five Gen Zs say that they regularly jump queues, and 53 per cent of them think that’s OK.
A spokesperson for American Holidays, which commissioned the research, says: “The younger generation is reshaping how we wait in line, from the pub to the passport desk.”
Hmmm. Among themselves, maybe.
But try any of that nonsense when there’s a Baby Boomer behind you and, trust me, you’ll know that it’s very much not ok.
Published: [#item_custom_pubDate]
