“I WILL restore standards in public life!” Sir Keir Starmer piously promised before the General Election.
Yes, and how’s that working out?
GettySir Keir Starmer piously promised to ‘restore standards in public life’ before the General Election[/caption]
EPAGiven Lord Mandelson’s known friendship with Jeffrey Epstein, it beggars belief that he ever became US amabassador[/caption]
After just 15 months in power, this Labour Government are drowning in a swamp of socialist sleaze.
Starmer is starting to make Boris Johnson look like Mother Teresa.
In the space of just one week, Starmer has lost his Deputy Leader Angela Rayner and Peter Mandelson, his ambassador to our most important ally.
And with both his former Housing Minister and our erstwhile man in Washington, the Prime Minister revealed an astonishing timidity, a pathetic political weakness and a jaw-dropping lack of judgment.
With Three Pads, Keir kept furiously insisting that she was the innocent victim of a smear campaign by the wicked right-wing media. And it simply was not true.
The Housing Minister had underpaid the stamp duty due on one of her homes by £40,000. She had to go. But Starmer was the last to know.
And this week the PM expressed his “confidence” in Peter Mandelson, even AFTER Mandelson himself had warned that there were more lurid revelations to come about his special relationship with convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.
Mandelson had to go. And again — Starmer looked like the last to know.
Given Mandelson’s known friendship with Epstein, it beggars belief that he ever landed the most prestigious job in British diplomacy in the first place.
And now there are pressing questions that the PM must answer.
We are being told that Starmer was strongly advised NOT to appoint Mandelson as our man in Washington. Did he ignore this advice?
Did the Prime Minister know that the man he made our ambassador to the US had urged Epstein to fight for “early release”?
After losing Ange and Mandy in six days of sleaze — and after clinging on to both of them until their positions were untenable — Starmer looks unfit for office.
Voices on the Left say, “Well, those Tories were just as bad.”
Boris Johnson was no paragon of moral virtue.
PM crumbles to pieces
Which misses the central point — after a cock-up too far, the Tories got shot of BoJo.
Johnson went from glorious landslide to unloved, even within his own party, remarkably quickly.
And as Labour MPs squirm with embarrassment at Mandelson’s sickening “yum yum” messages to his disgusting billionaire chum, Keir Starmer seems to be on exactly the same trajectory as Boris.
This papier-mache PM looks durable but crumbles to pieces when under strain — how long can he last?
It may turn out that the political appointment of Mandelson and his humiliating fall will prove to be Starmer’s cock-up too far.
Starmer promised growth — and yet as the economy flatlines, the only growth we see is tawdry, sordid socialist sleaze.
Next week this country will welcome the President of the US on a state visit.
We should be talking about the special relationship — the most successful alliance between two nations in human history.
We should be talking about trade, the threat of Russia and the ties that bind the US and UK.
Instead we are talking about Labour’s latest scandal.
Here are the standards that Starmer has restored to public life.
The standards of the sewer.
Sabrina dogged by Tap album cover
YOU can’t help noticing that the cover of Sabrina Carpenter’s Man’s Best Friend is not light years away from the original vision for Spinal Tap’s Smell The Glove.
Beautiful woman on all fours, dominant anonymous male just out of shot, the doggy references.
GettyThe cover of Sabrina Carpenter’s Man’s Best Friend is not light years away from the original vision for Spinal Tap’s Smell The Glove[/caption]
AlamyThis is Spinal Tap’s Christopher Guest, Michael McKean and Harry Shearer[/caption]
APSabrina Carpenter’s Man’s Best Friend[/caption]
Spinal Tap Smell the Glove
And Sabrina is as bewildered by all the fuss as Spinal Tap were in 1982.
“I’m not allowed to have sex, but you are?” fumes Sabrina, 26.
“The whole purpose of the photo was supposed to be cheeky and airy and playful.”
Women’s Aid is not so keen.
“It isn’t edgy, it’s regressive,” says the charity.
“Picturing herself on all fours with a man pulling her hair and calling it Man’s Best Friend isn’t subversion – it’s a throwback to tired tropes that reduce women to pets.”
I think Women’s Aid has a point.
But Spinal Tap would definitely be on Sabrina’s side.
TAY NO MADGE MATCH
WITH the release of her 12th album, The Life Of A Showgirl, Taylor Swift will become the best-selling female singer of all time.
Which is not quite the same as most important.
GettyTaylor Swift will become the best-selling female singer of all time[/caption]
Taylor has currently sold 248million albums.
Madonna has sold 252million.
Taylor will soon surpass Madonna’s number.
But how many Taylor Swift songs does the average non-Swifty music lover know?
Madonna, on the other hand, has a jukebox full of unforgettable tunes engraved on our collective consciousness.
Like A Virgin, Material Girl, Like A Prayer, Papa Don’t Preach, Holiday, Express Yourself, Crazy For You, Ray Of Light – heard once, never forgotten.
Taylor Swift has written one certifiable classic pop tune – Love Story.
But if you were choosing Taylor or Madonna for a karaoke night, there is only one winner.
In the very near future, Taylor Swift will have sold more records than Madonna.
But Madonna’s banging tunes are the ones we will remember.
MAN’S WORLD
LABOUR’S contest to find a deputy leader to replace the disgraced Angela Rayner was an all-female affair.
Party grandees decreed that no man should bother applying – making Labour look a lot more pro-women than they are in the real world.
The Labour Party have been around for 125 years, but while the Tories are on their fourth female leader, Labour have never been led by a woman.
Margaret Beckett was briefly acting leader after John Smith’s death, but they soon got shot of her in favour of a bloke – Tony Blair.
And the bookies’ two favourites to replace Keir Starmer as the next leader are Wes Streeting and Andy Burnham.
Meanwhile, in North Korea, Kim Ju Ae, daughter of Kim Jong Un, is predicted to be his successor.
So it looks like North Korea will have their first female leader before the Labour Party!
SADIQ KHAN’T SORT IT
LONDON’S Oxford Street will be closed to buses and cars on Sunday, September 21, as Mayor Sadiq Khan shares his vision of a traffic-free future.
Mayor Khan should have one day every year when he shares his vision for a knife-free London.
Or a shoplifter-free London.
Or a phone-snatching-little-bastards-on- e-bikes-free London.
Because the greatest city in the world is currently being ravaged by unprecedented levels of crime.
And yet the only people that London’s criminally clueless Mayor Khan wants to get off the street are . . . motorists and buses.
And ironically, it was cars, buses and flocks of wobbly e-bikes that kept London moving this week when the city was paralysed by striking Tube train drivers demanding an increase on their £72,000-a-year salary (already twice what a teacher earns), a reduction in their working week and a bunch of other goodies, including two-for-one tickets at Legoland.
And those lazy, Lego-loving, work-shy train drivers made an eloquent case.
For driverless trains.
SCARY PHRASE
TRUMP ally Charlie Kirk, 31, was murdered at a university rally for his political beliefs.
Think it could not happen here?
Think again.
Kirk was assassinated in the same week that John McDonnell, former Jeremy Corbyn henchman, compared Nigel Farage to Hitler and Reform UK to the Nazis.
Labelling your political opponents Nazis – or scum – is not merely the mark of a moron.
It is dangerous.
WHAT we want to know about Prince Harry’s 50-minute meeting with King Charles is – nothing.
No leaks to the US press.
EPAPrince Harry had a 50-minute meeting with King Charles[/caption]
No revelations in a tell-all doc on Netflix.
No inappropriate confessions to sycophantic celebrity interviewers.
The first meeting between Harry and Charles for 19 months was a private affair.
It should remain so.
The King deserves all credit for reaching out to his mouthy, self-pitying, errant son.
That took courage and compassion.
If Harry truly wants to rebuild all the bridges he burned with his family – and his country – then he must display more discretion than he has displayed during his life in exile.
Keeping the royal cakehole firmly closed would not find Harry forgiven for all his spiteful betrayals.
But it would be a start.
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