FEELING her boyfriend’s hands wind around her neck as he bore down on top of her in bed, nurse Paige Jones felt a rush of adrenaline.
But that feeling quickly turned to panic when his grip became so tight she felt herself struggling for breath and starting to lose consciousness.
Paul TongePaige Jones was choked by her boyfriend during sex and blacked out[/caption]
suppliedPaige’s choking experience went too far, leaving her and her boyfriend shaken[/caption]
“I was turning blue,” she told The Sun. “It terrified both of us, and we stopped immediately.
“Thankfully I wasn’t seriously hurt, though I had a lingering cough and a bruise I had to cover with make-up.”
The couple’s horrifying experience is far from an isolated incident, with social media sites like TikTok awash with disturbing videos and hashtags glorifying the deadly trend of choking during sex, a Sun investigation can reveal.
One blonde influencer with millions of followers recently uploaded a video with the chilling caption: “How I think I look getting choked vs what I actually look like.”
The accompanying footage, showing a man’s hand tightly gripping her throat, has racked up nearly half a million likes and thousands of comments.
Such is the concern that sex education in schools in England will now include warnings to teenagers about the dangerous act’s potentially fatal consequences.
Experts are warning that children as young as 13 are being exposed to graphic content online that glorifies rough sex, including breath play – a dangerous act that can cause serious harm or even death.
As well as being potentially fatal, strangling is linked to strokes, memory problems, seizures, incontinence, difficulty swallowing, depression, anxiety and even miscarriage.
In extreme cases women have died at the hands of men who strangled them during intercourse.
They include tragic Georgia Brooke, 26, from Ossett, West Yorkshire, who was fatally choked by Luke Cannon, 31, while they couple were having sex in 2022. Devastated Cannon took his own life the following day.
SuppliedGeorgia May Brooke, from Wakefield in Yorkshire, was choked to death in 2022 when a sex game took a sinister turn[/caption]
SuppliedLuke Cannon took his own life the day after accidentally killing Georgia[/caption]
Paige, 31, admits she used to enjoy “rough sex” with her partner and encouraged him to choke her.
“I love passionate sex – the kind that’s intense, steamy and full of energy,” she said.
“For me, that used to include hair pulling, spanking, and choking.”
Recalling the day her boyfriend took it too far, Paige says: “His hands were around my neck and I started to lose consciousness.
“My partner felt incredibly guilty and promised he’d never do it again – it really shook us.
“Since then we’ve stuck to safer options, and we’re both more aware of the risks involved.”
‘Wall of awfulness’
FacebookFiona Mackenzie of We Can’t Consent to This fears choking has been normalised[/caption]
TiKTokExperts fear choking is being promoted as sexy and fun[/caption]
Fiona Mackenzie, founder of pressure group We Can’t Consent to This, is among those calling for a crackdown on vile online content.
She tells The Sun: “TikTok has video after video of – usually young – women either simulating strangulation or saying, ‘Strangulation is great.’
“It’s just this wall of awfulness.
“Young women have told us that this was the key way that [strangling in sex] has been normalised for them – through TikTok and other lighter platforms that welcome children.”
Our probe found 28,000 videos on TikTok with strangulation content.
One sick clip shows a man in a mask simulating strangling someone, with the vile caption: “Choking the life out of my victim.”
Another shows a man grabbing a woman by the throat, captioned: “I knew I was the problem when I love when he choked me [sic].”
In a third, a young woman smiles to herself beneath the text: “Me remembering the last time I was choked!”
Fiona adds: “The idea that [as a child] you’d be exposed to these gorgeous young girls who are not much older than you, who are showing you how to get choked by your boyfriend, is monstrous.
The idea that [as a child] you’d be exposed to these gorgeous young girls who are not much older than you, who are showing you how to get choked by your boyfriend, is monstrous
Fiona Mackenzie
“We also found that if you type in choking or you see choking content, [TikTok] will then suggest search terms to you like breath play, asphyxiation and plastic bagging.
“These platforms are supposed to be moderated but they’re just slow and often don’t do it.
“Meanwhile parents just assume that it’s fine for their teens to browse on TikTok, and that the algorithm will only show them stuff that they actually want to see.”
Children will be taught that strangulation is a criminal offence under new sex education guidance published in England.
Pupils will learn that applying pressure to someone’s neck or covering their mouth and nose is illegal, even without visible injury.
Alarming surge
The updated sex education guidance – its first major overhaul since 2020 – urges secondary schools to address the alarming surge in the influence of the so-called “manosphere” and incel culture, along with new forms of harm linked to pornography.
Toxic influencer Andrew Tate has also been blamed for the alarming rise in young men chocking partners during sex, after posts promoting the idea of male dominance and sexual control online.
Strangling is now thought to be the second most common cause of stroke in women under 40.
A 2022 survey by the Institute for Addressing Strangulation found over a third of 16 to 34-year-olds had experienced choking – compared with 16 per cent of 35 to 54-year-olds and three per cent of those 55 and above.
“Our research suggests it is now much worse,” Fiona says.
“There is this complete normalisation through social media and through porn that getting strangled is something that you should expect to be done to you.”
Fiona formed WCCTT in 2018 in response to alarming cases where women had been killed during allegedly consensual sexual activity, with perpetrators let off or handed light sentences by using the so-called “rough-sex defence”.
WNSMum Victoria Thomas was strangled to death[/caption]
AthenaVictoria was seen on CCTV arguing with partner Alcwyn before she was killed[/caption]
In August last year, Alcwyn Thomas, 44, tried to claim his partner’s death was the result of “sex gone bad” when she had asked to be choked.
Victoria Thomas, 45, was found dead in a spare bedroom at their home in Cardiff in the early hours, after the couple had been on a night out.
Thomas had been drinking heavily and taking cocaine when he strangled her. He admitted manslaughter but denied murder.
He was jailed for life in April after being found guilty of brutally “murdering” her.
Dubbed the ‘50 Shades’ rough sex defence, it was effectively scrapped with the Domestic Abuse Act of 2021, which clarified that a person cannot consent to being harmed for the purpose of sexual gratification.
It also made non-fatal strangulation a specific criminal offence.
Although it now carries a five-year prison sentence, in the year up to 2023, around 700 offenders were sentenced for non-fatal strangulation.
“Now if you go to court, if you go to the police, you’re likely to get a better outcome than you did before,” Fiona says.
“But what we didn’t manage to do was reduce how prevalent the strangulation of women is.
“It’s everywhere. It’s completely normalised. And women are humiliated for being vanilla or sex-negative if they stand up against it.”
‘He seemed to enjoy my panic’
By Sun Sexpert Georgie Culley
I’LL never forget the moment I felt his hands snake around my neck.
I was in my 20s, dating a handsome guy who seemed like the perfect catch – until his eyes glazed over during sex and he suddenly turned into a monster.
At first I was shocked as his strong hands wrapped around my throat. We’d both had a few drinks and it took me a few seconds to realise what was happening. As I struggled to release his grip, he just tightened it.
I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t speak. But he seemed to enjoy my panic.
I nearly blacked out. Afterwards, it hurt to talk. My neck was covered in red finger marks, which later turned into bruises. I had a sore throat for days.
But worse than the physical pain was the emotional trauma. I felt violated and confused. How could someone I trusted – someone who was supposed to protect me – do that?
Sure, we’d had rough sex before. But there’s a huge difference between consensual kink and being choked to the point of unconsciousness. This wasn’t exciting or playful – it was terrifying. It could have killed me.
That’s why I welcome the government’s decision to teach kids that strangulation is a criminal offence in the new education curriculum.
After my own terrifying experience, I feel passionately about educating youngsters after the dangers of asphyxiation.
When I started investigating the rise of choking content on TikTok, it brought all those painful memories flooding back.
It’s extremely depressing that so many young people are being exposed to videos that glamorise this behaviour – without understanding how dangerous it really is.
Scrolling through video after video of young women boasting about being strangled is truly horrifying.
Explore your fantasies by all means – I’m The Sun’s Sexpert, I believe in a varied and vibrant sex life – but there must be a line.
Consent, communication and safety must always come first.
Because what’s fashionable online isn’t always harmless – and sometimes it can be fatal.
Read more from Sun Sexpert Georgie Culley.
‘Shame’
Orla Davidson, 26, was left with bruises around her neck after her partner strangled her during a sexual encounter earlier this year.
The restaurant supervisor told us: “We had a few drinks, went back to his and started having sex – then he began choking me. I did not give consent.
“His hand was pushing on the front of my neck with a lot of pressure, I remember thinking ‘this is hard’ – and then I don’t remember a certain portion after that.”
Two days later, bruises emerged around her neck that grew darker, which Orla hid with high-necked jumpers.
“There was a lot of shock and not knowing how to react to it, and feeling a weird kind of shame,” she recalled.
“I knew I should confront [the man] but didn’t know how to have that conversation.”
Orla confided in a friend who was “shocked” by the bruising.
“She said, ‘he f***ing strangled you.’ I’d known it was bad but her reaction confirmed it. I’m definitely worried women are being subjected to similar things.”
I knew I should confront [the man] but didn’t know how to have that conversation
Orla Davidson
She is also concerned about the accessibility of normalisation of choking and violent content on social media and dating apps.
Orla added: “There’s a lot of videos on TikTok, especially men telling the camera, ‘I’m gonna choke you’ as though speaking to a woman.
“I’ve had to block many men on dating apps who say things like, ‘I’m gonna hurt you’.
“Some people use the guise of being open-minded or being into BDSM when they’re actually into hurting women.
“There’s nothing wrong with women wanting casual sex, that’s not the issue. It’s the fact you can go on a date and end up dead.”
‘Embarrassment’
Another victim, Steph – not her real name – told The Sun she blacked out and had a seizure while a male friend choked her during sex – then convinced her not to seek medical treatment.
Now 21, she says: “Choking was something I’d experienced guys liking and doing since my first relationship when I was 14, which in itself is concerning.
“But this time was different. I remember him choking me on and off and my vision going as I blacked out.
“I tried to tap him to make him stop, but the next thing I knew I was thrashing about having a seizure and my leg hit a glass and broke it.
“He didn’t stop or let go immediately. I dread to think what could have happened.”
I remember him choking me on and off and my vision going as I blacked out. I tried to tap him to make him stop, but the next thing I knew I was thrashing about having a seizure and my leg hit a glass and broke it. He didn’t stop or let go immediately. I dread to think what could have happened
Steph
Afterwards, she wanted to go to hospital but the man talked her out of it, fearing it would get him “in trouble”.
“It was terrifying, I wanted to get checked out but I also didn’t want to be seen as that girl who ruins someone else’s fun or as a prude,” she recalls.
“My initial reaction was embarrassment, or feeling like I did something wrong. You’re not confident in what’s normal or not in sex, especially when you’re younger.”
Steph fears the accessibility of extreme porn to youngsters is normalising violent sex.
She is also concerned about toxic influencers like Andrew Tate – who is facing rape and strangling allegations.
A TikTok Spokesperson said: “We do not allow fetish or kink behaviour on our platform, we have removed content which breaches our rules and proactively remove 97 per cent of this type of content before it is reported to us.”
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