AN EX-BOYRFRIEND who strangled his terrified girlfriend as she held their newborn baby and banned her from breastfeeding because he was “jealous” has been caged.
Alexis Flavin, from Cardiff, feared for her life as sicko Johnathan Cole wrapped his hands around her neck while she lay in bed with their infant daughter.
Focus FeaturesAlexis, 39, has urged all women to check their partner’s history under the Clare’s Law scheme[/caption]
Focus FeaturesCole was sentenced to 19 months behind bars[/caption]
It marked the end of Cole’s twisted campaign of physical and emotional abuse – from destroying scan pictures to blocking Alexis from baby groups.
The manipulative-ex had initially wormed his way into the young mum’s life when they were “just friends” after helping out with her kids.
Alexis told Wales Online she was not “stupid or naive” to fall for Cole, after he used “love bombing” to reel her in.
But, the relationship took a dark turn as he began to degrade her with “gaslighting, manipulation” and isolation from friends and family.
“He didn’t like me having male friends, even though it was purely platonic,” said Alexis.
“He slowly isolated me from all my family – I couldn’t even speak to my teenage daughter without him complaining.”
Cole got down on one knee in 2021, and Alexis discovered she was pregnant two weeks later.
While she was hesitant about her partner, she stayed with him for the sake of the baby.
After a scan, Cole was “crying with happiness” but then flew off the handle behind closed doors and ripped up the sonogram.
“My entire pregnancy was ruined, he’d blow hot and cold, one minute he was loving, the next he’d become hostile,” Alexis added.
The emotional turmoil was made worse for Alexis due to previous miscarriages and her pregnancy being high risk.
She said: “I just wanted him to support me and be a dad to our baby.”
But, Cole failed to show up for the birth and Alexis ended the tumultuous relationship.
The young mum still wanted her child to have a relationship with their father and allowed visitations.
Despite being separated from her twisted ex, Alexis said the abuse didn’t stop.
“He was still very controlling; he didn’t let me breastfeed because he was jealous,” she explained.
“It was crazy but at the time, he had got into my head and I just went along with everything. I wasn’t allowed to attend any baby groups in case I met a man there.”
The abuse culminated one morning in June 2023, when Cole had been allowed to sleep on Alexis’ sofa.
When he was awoken by the baby monitor at around 5.30am he became enraged and launched his attack.
Alexis recalled: “I had the baby on my chest, and he lunged at me, his hands round my throat.
“I couldn’t scream, I couldn’t breathe. I thought he was going to kill me. I was terrified of moving because I knew I had to keep my baby safe.
“She was looking up at me, and I knew I had to get out of it alive, for her sake.”
The terrified mum rang the police and Cole fled the scene before being arrested shortly afterwards.
Alexis had to be treated by paramedics and her injuries were so severe she couldn’t swallow.
“My ears were ringing, and I was very dizzy. I had to wear a hoodie to hide my injuries from the kids,” she said.
The mum-of-four has since issued an urgent warning to other women.
She explained: “I felt so vulnerable, as a new mum, going through the court case and seeing my baby’s dad jailed.
“But it was the right thing to do. I know now he bullied me to the point where I had no confidence and I accepted everything he did to me.”
Alexis said Cole is now “where he belongs”, behind bars, and she has learnt the power of her own self-worth.
The mum urged everyone to do a background check on new partners through a process called Clare’s Law.
“It’s so important, when you welcome a new partner into your family, to do the necessary checks. If I’d known about Clare’s Law, I would have found about his past,” she added.
“I kept thinking he would change for the sake of our baby but now I know he will never change at all. I’d urge all women to use Clare’s Law to check on a new partner.”
Clare’s Law is a scheme which allows the police to release information about any previous history of violence or abuse a person might have.
People can apply for information about a current or ex-partner if they worry they are at risk.
Details can also be released to a concerned friend or relative who is worried about someone else.
The law was passed after the horrific killing of mum Clare Wood, who was murdered by her ex-boyfriend.
The 36-year-old of Salford, was strangled and set on fire by George Appleton, 40, after meeting him on Facebook.
Cole, who has 14 previous convictions for 16 offences, was sentenced at Cardiff Crown Court for intentional strangulation.
It was the third time the abuser had been called before the bench for domestic violence.
Defence barrister Kevin Seal, said Cole accepted responsibility for the “short-lived” attack and claimed his client has since sought help for his behavior.
Judge Jenkins told the court Alexis’ injuries looked “very nasty” and the “ultimate act of cowardice” was “too serious” for a suspended sentence.
Cole was slapped with 19 months behind bars and a five year restraining order to keep him away from Alexis.
Alexis has received support from SUTDA – Stand Up To Domestic Violence.
How you can get help
Women’s Aid has this advice for victims and their families:
Always keep your phone nearby.
Get in touch with charities for help, including the Women’s Aid live chat helpline and services such as SupportLine.
If you are in danger, call 999.
Familiarise yourself with the Silent Solution, reporting abuse without speaking down the phone, instead dialing “55”.
Always keep some money on you, including change for a pay phone or bus fare.
If you suspect your partner is about to attack you, try to go to a lower-risk area of the house – for example, where there is a way out and access to a telephone.
Avoid the kitchen and garage, where there are likely to be knives or other weapons. Avoid rooms where you might become trapped, such as the bathroom, or where you might be shut into a cupboard or other small space.
If you are a victim of domestic abuse, SupportLine is open Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6pm to 8pm on 01708 765200. The charity’s email support service is open weekdays and weekends during the crisis – [email protected].
Women’s Aid provides a live chat service – available weekdays from 8am-6pm and weekends 10am-6pm.
You can also call the freephone 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline on 0808 2000 247.
Alexis was left with nasty bruising from the strangulationFocus Features
Focus FeaturesCole had been hauled before a court three times for domestic violence[/caption]
The mum-of-four has since discovered her own self-worth and knows she did the right thingFocus Features Published: [#item_custom_pubDate]
