FOR the last three years, Hollie Arnavut and Catherine Adenekan have had unwanted membership to the same morbid club.
Heartbreakingly, Hollie’s brother Michael Dunham and Catherine’s son Joe Nihill both fell under the spell of an evil ‘pro-suicide’ forum, which horrifically coached, guided and helped them take their own lives.
Jason ByeHollie Arnavut, whose brother Mike killed himself three years ago after using a suicide forum[/caption]
Ben LackCatherine Adeneken, pictured with daughter-in-law Melanie Saville, has campaigned for the sites to be shut down after her son Joe Nihill killed himself[/caption]
Now, after years of campaigning by grieving loved ones, the site is finally being investigated by Ofcom, after a new Online Safety Act was announced to better protect kids and vulnerable people from harmful sites.
A Sun investigation can reveal a staggering 137 UK suicides in the last five years have been linked to this website, which we are choosing not to name.
Yet despite this, the dreadful site still remains accessible for vulnerable people to use.
And both families insist that more must be done to regulate sites like it and called on Ofcom to close the site immediately while they investigate it.
Catherine, 54, whose son Joe was just 23 when he took his own life in 2019, told The Sun: “It is an outrage and an insult to the memory of people like Joe that this site remains on the internet and easily accessible to people wanting to end their own life.
“We have been to hell and back after Joe’s death but at least 137 people have committed suicide since using that site in the UK alone – what more proof do you need to close it immediately?
“Ofcom are not doing nearly enough by just investigating the site. It needs to be shut down now before more like Joe lose their lives.”
Hollie, 35, whose 38-year-old brother Michael travelled to the Isle of Wight to take his life in 2022, added: “This site must be taken down.
“There is no sense behind it still being up and accessible. It is killing people in plain sight and Ofcom think that it is enough to just investigate it.
“Why has it taken this long just to get them to investigate it? They must do more and close it down for good. I have no doubt that my brother would still be here today had that site not existed.”
Today The Sun reveals 300 parents a year tell suicide prevention charity Papyrus that their kids have gone on the web to seek information on how to die.
Online safety charity Internet Matters said 56 per cent of parents are concerned about their children viewing content promoting self-harm or suicide.
In 2022, we reported that in just two years, 23 Brits had died after using just one forum – seen by The Sun – but today that figure has leapt startlingly to 137 in just five years.
The numbers are compiled by campaigner Catherine, who has brought together dozens of families of vulnerable people who fell victim to the site.
She amassed the grim toll by speaking to the families of users who expressed a wish to die on the site.
New crackdown
Last month, the landmark Online Safety Act was announced to protect children and adults online.
It puts a range of new laws on social media companies and search services, making them more responsible for their users’ safety on their platforms.
The Act is aimed to give providers new outlines to implement systems and processes to reduce risks their services are used for illegal activity, and to take down illegal content when it does appear.
Joe took his own life after being encouraged by users of the horrifying forum
Jason ByeMike sent his sister a heartbreaking last message[/caption]
It will also protect adult users, ensuring that major platforms will need to be more transparent about which kinds of potentially harmful content they allow, and give people more control over the types of content they want to see.
Technology Secretary Peter Kyle said the new laws would be a “watershed moment”.
Ofcom is the independent regulator of the act. Tech firms will have to apply the measures by July 25 or risk fines – and in extreme cases being shut down – under the new laws.
The watchdog published more than 40 measures last month covering sites and apps used by children, ranging from social media to search and gaming. They also revealed that they are investigation this suicide forum.
But for the families this is not enough.
‘Nothing peaceful about death’
Hollie, 35, was left devastated three years ago when she found out her brother Michael Dunham, 38, had taken his own life after being a regular user of the site.
Her family were unaware of his interactions on the site until after his death.
Hollie, from Diss, in south Norfolk, told The Sun: “My brother had always struggled with his mental health. Unbeknown to us, in 2019 my brother had been using the site to interact with others.
“We found out after his death he’d considered suicide before when we found an old suicide note.
“We also found the posts he’d made on the site. They were just the public ones. God knows what the private ones from users were advising him.
“I now know that users on the site gave him the method that ended his life, I’ve seen the post in which he talks about it. I saw the posts in which he discussed other methods.
In the lead up to his death, my brother messaged me on Facebook. I didn’t realise then but he knew it would be his last message to me
“I saw other users tell him the easiest options and the ones that would be the least painful. He listened to them.
“He took so much notice of what was said on the site that despite living in Barbican in London, he travelled all the way to the Isle of Wight to end his life. The reality was that in the end there was nothing peaceful about his death.”
She added: “It was alarming how other users normalised the act of taking your own life.
“I was shocked by what I saw when I found the site. I realised they’re conditioning you to think this is it’s okay and it’s normal to feel like that. And the only way out is if you end your life.
“They don’t promote recovery. Even though there is a recovery section, the amount of posts on the rest of the site outweighed the recovery section.
“I honestly think he would have made a recovery had he not found this site.”
You’re Not Alone
EVERY 90 minutes in the UK a life is lost to suicide
It doesn’t discriminate, touching the lives of people in every corner of society – from the homeless and unemployed to builders and doctors, reality stars and footballers.
It’s the biggest killer of people under the age of 35, more deadly than cancer and car crashes.
And men are three times more likely to take their own life than women.
Yet it’s rarely spoken of, a taboo that threatens to continue its deadly rampage unless we all stop and take notice, now.
That is why The Sun launched the You’re Not Alone campaign.
The aim is that by sharing practical advice, raising awareness and breaking down the barriers people face when talking about their mental health, we can all do our bit to help save lives.
Let’s all vow to ask for help when we need it, and listen out for others… You’re Not Alone.
If you, or anyone you know, needs help dealing with mental health problems, the following organisations provide support:
CALM, www.thecalmzone.net, 0800 585 858
Heads Together,www.headstogether.org.uk
HUMEN www.wearehumen.org
Mind, www.mind.org.uk, 0300 123 3393
Papyrus, www.papyrus-uk.org, 0800 068 41 41
Samaritans,www.samaritans.org, 116 123
Heartbreakingly, Hollie said: “In the lead up to his death, my brother messaged me on Facebook. I didn’t realise then but he knew it would be his last message to me.
“He told me to look after myself, and I said to my brother, will you look after yourself too? And he told me to look after my kids and make sure that the world doesn’t f*** him up like the world f***ed him up.
“Ever since his death, I’ve had trauma, panic attacks. It’s been a rollercoaster. I hate that the site still exists when there’s too many vulnerable people. I just hate that things like this are allowed to exist. It needs closing.”
Sick trolls
To make matters worse, trolls from the site have even hounded Hollie on social media for criticising the site.
She said: “The harassment we get online from these people is awful. People blame me for my brother’s death. It’s dreadful. I really hope Ofcom hear my story and take harder steps than they are.”
Last week, even the Children’s Commissioner Dame Rachel de Souza said that the Online Safety Act’s proposals were “not strong enough”.
She added: “I am disappointed to see this code has not been significantly strengthened and seems to prioritise the business interests of technology companies over children’s safety.
“I urge Ofcom to ensure online protections mirror what children have told me they want to see. I will be urgently expressing my concerns about the Code with Ofcom.”
Ben LackCatherine and her family were left traumatised by Joe’s death[/caption]
Change.orgChip shop worker Joe was given detailed instructions on how to take his life[/caption]
Catherine, from Leeds, agreed. She said: “More has to be done or there will be more deaths.
“The site is evil and is still being used today.”
Vile messages
Catherine’s son Joe, a former Army cadet, had had a series of setbacks in his life before his death in April 2020.
The family later discovered that four days before his death, he had been active on the same site Michael had been using.
The Sun has seen one of his last messages in which he was asked what he wants from his death by another user.
Joe replied: “More peacefulness, and not too much extreme pain and speed.
“To be honest I’m ready to try new things and just be at peace with myself. If that makes sense?”
The people who run this site should be prosecuted – instead, they are laughing at us
Users on the site then bombarded him with terrifying advice.
Catherine added: “Joe had been a shell of himself before his death.
“Events in our life had hit him hard but like others, I had no idea he was viewing such brainwashing material.”
Joe was found dead on his mother’s sofa on April 4 after taking a deadly substance prescribed on the forum.
He also left a note asking authorities: “Please do your bit in closing that website for anyone else and please look after my mum and my family.”
NSPCC advice on keeping teens and pre-teens safe online
Follow age requirements – Many popular apps, sites and games are 13+, it’s important to check and follow these with pre-teens.
Speak to phone providers – If your child owns their own smartphone then contact the service provider to make sure it is registered as a child’s device. This means additional safety restrictions can be put in place.
Support your child with their settings – Support your child to manage their safety and wellbeing settings across devices and accounts.
Focus on regular safety conversations – It’s important to keep conversations regular at this age. Check our advice on tackling challenging conversations including tips for how to use technology to support you with this.
Share youth facing help and support – Make sure your child knows about services that can help like Childline. You could start by sharing the online safety advice content and the Report Remove tool created by the IWF and Childline.
Revisit parental controls – you will likely need to revisit your parental controls again at this age and adjust them. Keep checking these regularly to make sure they are in place.
Explore healthy habits together – Healthy habits work best when all the family agrees to following them. This could be agreeing to charge devices away from beds to support sleep and not using devices during mealtimes to help take breaks.
If your child asks you a question you don’t know the answer to, or speaks to you about a negative experience they had online, here are some of things you could do:
Visit the NSPCC online safety hub: nspcc.org.uk/onlinesafety.
Call the NSPCC helpline 0808 800 5000 to speak to an advisor.
Ask another parent.
Speak to your child’s teacher.
If your child needs more support, they can contact Childline: childline.org.uk.
She added: “Later on, I found this hideous world he’d been sucked into. It was like a cult. He was addicted, there’s no doubt about it.
“I’m addicted too. I go on it most days, not that I want to do anything stupid but I’m trying to see what other vulnerable people need help.”
“The people who run this site should be prosecuted – instead, they are laughing at us. I cannot believe that more than five years after his death, the site is still useable. We must have this site closed down now by Ofcom. They have a duty.
Under UK law, aiding or counselling a person to kill themselves is punishable with up to 14 years in prison under the 1961 Suicide Act.
But nothing has been done because the site is hosted by someone outside the UK.
Jason ByeHollie says suicide forums must be shut down before more lives are lost[/caption] Published: [#item_custom_pubDate]
