WHETHER you’re flushing out fatbergs, flogging houses, cleaning toilets or driving a train (when not striking), we spend approximately a third of our lives working.
Eight hours a day of varying degrees of blood, sweat, tears and sheer hard toil.
ShutterstockIn a darkly Orwellian new precedent, staff have been ordered to declare any form of ‘personal relationship’ in the office[/caption]
ITVThe move comes in the wake of This Morning presenter Phillip Schofield’s affair with a younger colleague, which he failed to declare until after the event[/caption]
And the light at the end of the tunnel? A little light workplace flirtation, a spot of in-house camaraderie.
But not if employers like ITV have their way.
In a darkly Orwellian new precedent, staff have been ordered to declare any form of “personal relationship” in the office.
Say what?
And in a move straight from the 1930s dictatorship playbook, whistleblowers are being encouraged to report any signs of inter-colleague hanky panky.
To protect the snivelling little tell-tales, an internal email continued: “Any form of reprisal or victimisation against anyone who has raised a concern will not be tolerated and will itself be treated as a serious disciplinary matter.”
The move comes in the wake of This Morning presenter Phillip Schofield’s affair with a younger colleague, which he failed to declare until after the event.
Recriminations for Phillip, as we have all seen, have been brutal.
He’s off air, without a job and has been thrown unceremoniously to the digital dogs.
And now, in its infinite wisdom, ITV wants to punish everyone else, too.
Since (office) time began, romances have blossomed, little work babies have been born and people have been excited to cross the PAYE threshold in order to catch a glimpse of their amour across the kitchen kettle.
Christmas parties — people nailing warm white wine to the strains of Fairtytale Of New York — have provided MONTHS of happy gossip.
Reputations have been ruined, legends created, over the photocopier.
These are the stories that, quite simply, get us through the boredom and monotony of blue and white collar life.
It’s all part of the fun, something to get us through the paperwork, the passive-aggressive boss and the employee who wears a lanyard around their neck at all times.
In a world filled with CCTV, and our every move documented on social media, nothing, now, is private.
Some flirty texting between consenting adults and a sneaky snog at All Bar One on a Thursday night isn’t harming anyone.
Encouraging a culture of terror
We are all entitled to a private life . . . the clue is in the name.
And so long as it’s not impacting work, really, what’s the issue?
To caveat this, in this day and age employers do have a duty of care — and any form of abuse of power must be stopped.
But making people declare long-standing friendships, or encouraging a culture of terror for one misplaced compliment, is a whole other ball game.
Next month an external review of how Phillip’s case was handled will be made public.
Clearly ITV is nervous and doing all it can now to get its ducks in a row.
But draconian measures aren’t what’s needed now. A light touch is.
Yep, ladies and gentlemen . . . if I were a bloke I’d be Springbok Faf de Klerk
SO, my phone was bombarded on Saturday night while I was watching the England rugby team’s sad defeat to the brutes of South Africa.
“It’s you!!!!”, “There she is!!!!”, “Your doppelganger!”, etc, was the gist of it.
Yep, ladies and gentlemen . . . if I were a bloke I’d be Springbok Faf de Klerk.
Bobby of his time
Bobby Charlton was just bloody good at football, and a modest, unassuming gentleman with itGetty
OF all the enduring images of the late, great Bobby Charlton – that rare hero who transcended football tribalism – the pictures of him quietly enjoying a cigarette pitch-side, and on his hospital bed following the Munich air disaster, are particularly precious.
This was a man at the very top of his game, who won all there was to win and who didn’t have a team of nutritionists, physios, psychologists and coaches at his disposal.
He was just bloody good at football, and a modest, unassuming gentleman with it.
Our footballers today are lionised . . . and then taken down quicker than you can say VAR when they so much as go to Wayne Lineker’s O Beach Club in Ibiza. How times have changed.
A woman was in her garden when a 4ft snake fell from the sky and wrapped itself wound her arm as a hawk swooped to down to claim itGetty
THINK you’re having a bad day?
Spare a thought for the nice lady interviewed by The Guardian over the weekend.
While roaming around her garden on a tractor, she recalls: “A 4ft snake fell out of the sky on to my arm. I kept flinging my arm around but its coils only tightened in response.
“That’s when a hawk swooped down and tried to grab the snake.
“As the bird attempted to pull the snake, flapping its wings in my face, I was lifted into the air.”
See? Life could be worse.
Sad or going mad?
EXPERTS claim we can beat the winter blues by, er, writing a letter to the season.
Around three per cent of adults suffer from SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) – of which I’m convinced I’m one.
But now researchers from the University of Glasgow have found that “writing a letter beginning, “Dear winter”, and telling it how you feel, can alleviate depression”.
Um. If I ever catch myself penning a postcard to winter I’m pretty sure “SAD” will be the least of my issues.
AlamyJust five women grace the Bayeaux Tapestry – while 632 men and 93 penises feature[/caption]
FUN fact of the day: The Bayeux Tapestry features 632 men, 55 dogs, 93 penises and, drum roll, five – five! – women.
Ah, the joys of being female.
I’m so sick of trolls
getty ImagesEmily Blunt has been forced to apologise for an off-the-cuff remark made 13 years ago[/caption]
POOR Emily Blunt.
One of the seemingly nicest, most normal A-list actresses out there has been forced to apologise for an off-the-cuff quip she made 13 years ago.
After a clip resurfaced of her calling a waitress “enormous” – because there’s a whole plethora of hungry little trolls out there DESPERATE to weave their dastardly dark arts – she’s been made to publicly grovel.
An edited clip of an exchange with Jonathan Ross appeared on TikTok and X this week, with several online commentators (trolls) calling her “fatphobic”.
The Oppenheimer star was forced to issue a statement, in which she said her “jaw was on the floor” watching it back, adding: “I was appalled that I would say something so insensitive, hurtful and unrelated to whatever story I was trying to tell on a talk show.”
For goodness sake. There are bigger, much bigger (no pun intended), things going on in the world right now.
Can’t we just let things slide?
Lots of heroes in Gaza
CNNRaz Peri, a cancer patient, hurled himself on top of a grenade in order to spare those around him in their roadside shelter[/caption]
AS the horror continues in Gaza, it’s easy to overlook the incredible, life-affirming acts of bravery being committed on an hourly basis.
Raz Peri, a cancer patient, hurled himself on top of a grenade in order to spare those around him in their roadside shelter.
Similar stories of selfless sacrifice have emerged over the past two weeks. But, for tragically obvious reasons, few are left to tell their tale like survivor Raz. Heartbreaking.
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