SIR KEIR STARMER, and every British Prime Minister who ever follows him, can have “resets” with the European Union until the mad cows come home.
They can sell out our fishermen. Tear down our borders. They can sign up for “dynamic alignment” — meaning meekly accepting rules we take no part in making.
AFPSir Keir Starmer’s reset with the EU is as thin as an After Eight mint[/caption]
ReutersMost of the anti-British spite comes from France — or specifically from this French President, Emmanuel Macron[/caption]
But no matter how hard Keir and the PMs of the future strive to build bridges, I can see no way that this country will ever go back into the European Union.
Because the EU wants the UK to come back on our knees.
I am all for having the best possible relationship with our EU neighbours.
And I wish that they felt the same way. But clearly, they don’t. Because what really prevents the UK and the EU from ever having a mutually beneficial reset is that some of our neighbours still want to punish us for Brexit.
You see it as soon as you land in an EU country, where your toxic British passport gets you herded into the dreaded All Other Passports line.
And that would be fair enough if this happened when EU citizens arrive in the UK. But it doesn’t. EU citizens are welcomed into the UK like old friends and pass through immigration in the same line as the locals.
After Keir’s reset with the EU, long-suffering, long-queueing British tourists have been promised faster passport queues in Europe. But, in-credibly, only if individual EU countries agree. So don’t hold your breath.
Starmer’s reset with the EU is as thin as an After Eight mint.
It says it all that even after Keir Starmer’s new deal with the EU, you can still be treated like an undesirable alien when your family arrives for a holiday in France or Spain or Italy.
Ever feel like you’re not wanted?
But then there has been an hysterically vindictive spirit abroad in Brussels ever since we voted to leave the European Union.
It would be wrong to think that this is just pure spite.
The routine punishment beatings are also to décourager les autres — to discourage the others, meaning any member state that contemplates bailing out of the European project.
Most of the anti-British spite comes from France — or specifically from this French President, Emmanuel Macron.
Bitterly estranged
In this week’s reset, it was Monsieur Macron who at the last moment demanded “a hard link” between separate deals on fishing rights and defence, winning the right for French fishermen to fish in British waters for the next 12 years.
What we get in return is, er, the right to protect the EU from Russia.
Starmer leads a UK that is bitterly estranged from the EU but just another bunch of free-loading foreigners to the isolationist USA.
If Keir, the arch Remainer, is naive to believe there is a way back into the European Union, then the Brexiteers were naive to think the UK could ever remain on good terms with the EU.
GettyDark days for much of the UK fishing fleet as Keir Starmer gives extended access to EU boats[/caption]
Did we think we could still be friends? Yes, we did.
And today we find ourselves in a worst-of-both-worlds twilight zone.
Neither really in the EU nor genuinely out. But there will always be an impenetrable barrier preventing any genuine reset between the UK and EU, a barricade built by the bile of Brussels.
To paraphrase Taylor Swift, the UK and the EU are never ever, ever getting back together.
Because the EU wants us to crawl.
And the history of our nation suggests that the British just don’t crawl.
MORE good news for Reform voters. A study by Harvard and Southamp-ton universities suggests that the friends of Farage have more success on dating apps than Tory voters.
“While Reform voters had a below- average favourability on dating apps, they are four points more likely to enjoy success on the dating market than Conservative voters,” says Dr Alberto Lopez Ortega.
It seems everybody loves a hard Brexit.
How Cannes they forget Brigitte?
THE Cannes Film Festival is tightening its red-carpet dress code because in recent years some stars have left little – and sometimes nothing – to the imagination.
Bella Hadid, Kendall Jenner, Irina Shayk, Leila Depina, Winnie Harlow, Nadia Lee Cohen, Cindy Kimberly, Julia Fox – the nipple-count has been higher at the festival than at the average nudist beach.
The trend to flaunt the flesh in the south of France began a lifetime ago with the 19-year-old Brigitte BardotRex Features
Kylie Jenner leaves nothing to the imagination at the Cannes screening of Girls Of The SunGetty – Contributor
Shutterstock EditorialBella Hadid at this year’s festival[/caption]
But now Cannes has decided it is reclaiming the red carpet for higher things.
“For decency reasons, nudity is prohibited on the red carpet, as well as in other areas of the festival,” sniff the organisers.
And what makes Cannes’ prim new dress code comically ironic is that the most famous film festival in the world was put first on the map by a young French actress wearing not much.
The trend to flaunt the flesh in the south of France began a lifetime ago with the 19-year-old Brigitte Bardot. BB arrived at the 6th Cannes Film Festival in April 1953 in a shocking new invention called a “bikini”, right. The world went wild.
The organisers of Cannes seem to have forgotten their own history.
Bardot’s bikini-clad photo shoots in 1953 earned instant global fame for the festival. Back then, Bardot was years away from her breakout role in And God Created Woman.
And this would also become a grand Cannes tradition. The young actress grabbing all the headlines at Cannes in 1953 did not even have a film out.
Voters Trump Bruce
AlamyBruce Springsteen has been slamming the ‘treasonous’ US leadership as he champions the same blue-collar America that voted for Trump[/caption]
BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN starts each show on his Land Of Hope And Dreams tour with a prepared statement about the President of the United States.
“The America I love, the America I’ve written about, that has been a beacon of hope and liberty for 250 years, is currently in the hands of a corrupt, incompetent and treasonous administration.”
Sincere, passionate, heartfelt stuff.
Springsteen’s subject matter has always been the blue-collar America he comes from. People who saw their jobs disappear, their communities decline, their hope of a better tomorrow evaporate.
Folk who felt ignored by the elite, despised by the establishment, discarded by their nation.
Nobody has recorded the scars, traumas and travails of working-class Americans like Bruce.
And ironically the majority of the 77.3million who voted for Trump were the same blue-collar Americans who fill Springsteen’s songs.
Oliver DixonWhat a wretched sign of the times – lock up your sausage rolls![/caption]
GREGGS is removing its self-service fridges to combat the shoplifting epidemic.
In future, tasty favourites will be kept behind the counter.
What a wretched sign of the times – lock up your sausage rolls!
Miss is no hit
DO you ever record something on TV that you never actually get around to watching?
I missed the all-English Europa Cup Final between Spurs and Manchester United in Bilbao because I was watching Eric Clapton at the Royal Albert Hall (great – but no Layla).
SunSport’s Dave Kidd told me what I had missed.
“A terrible match, between two terrible teams, settled by a terrible goal,” Dave reckoned.
Insult to war heroes
GettyWhat would WW2 heroes think of the Dunkirk flotilla of Little Ships diverted mid-Channel to avoid a migrant boat making a crossing[/caption]
A FLOTILLA of little ships marking the 85th anniversary of Dunkirk had to change course mid-English Channel to avoid a boat of illegal immigrants heading in the opposite direction.
The little ships were remembering the decisive moment in this country’s history when 338,000 Allied soldiers were rescued from the beaches of Dunkirk by some 850 privately owned small boats.
After a marine alert, the flotilla was “shoved out of the way” to create an exclusion zone of one nautical mile around the migrant boat. Luckily, no one was hurt.
Perhaps even luckier is that this is not May 1940.
MONDAY was the seventh anniversary of Harry and Meghan’s wedding.
I recall the joy among those crowds in Windsor. How happy the world was for this couple.
How glad we were to have this beautiful bride joining our Royal Family.
What a waste.
AT 50, TV presenter Ben Shephard is on the cover of Men’s Health – stripped, ripped, proudly displaying a body like a pro athlete half his age.
Meanwhile, David Beckham poses in white Boss pants, at 50. And Pedro Pascal is the sex symbol of the small screen – at 50.
Why are we seeing all these fiftysomething hunks? The male midlife crisis was traditionally marked by blokes pining for firm young flesh to stave off feelings of mortality.
These days the desirable body they crave turns out to be their own.
Gary Lineker bows out after 26 years on MOTD this Sunday — leaving a gap no one can truly fillPA
ONCE in a generation, a TV presenter comes along who is a perfect fit for their show.
The late, great Paul O’Grady was a perfect fit on For The Love Of Dogs.
And Gary Lineker was a perfect fit for Match Of The Day.
This Sunday, as the Premier League season reaches its conclusion, Lineker says goodbye after 26 years fronting MOTD.
And just like For The Love Of Dogs without Paul O’Grady, I strongly suspect that Match Of The Day will never be quite as good again.
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