OH, the ignominy. Brigitte Macron, poor soul, forced to stomp along to court in her three-inch Mary Janes and prove she’s not a man.
In the very same week the Macrons confirmed they’d be documenting “scientific proof” of the French First Lady’s ladyness, the Libs Dems have outlined plans to clamp down on “doomscrolling”.
APBrigitte Macron is having to go to court to prove she’s not a man[/caption]
Capture d’écran / France 3An American influencer has been on a rampage against Mme Macron, claiming she is actually a trans woman (above the French First Lady in her younger days)[/caption]
The two are inadvertently symbiotic.
Because we are now living in some sort of mad, dystopian world whereby digital loons are free to spout their bile online while the young lap it up like thirsty dogs at a Pedigree Chum convention.
To recap: In July, President Emmanuel Macron filed a lawsuit against rabid far-righter, Candace Owens, a woman from whom even Donald Trump has distanced himself.
The American influencer has been on some sort of mad-dog rampage against Mme Macron, claiming that she is actually a trans woman, one born a bloke.
So now Brigitte’s lawyers will be forced to hand over a series of what? T*t pics? (Nope, they could be plastic.)
Front bottom photos? (No, ditto.)
Pregnancy Polaroids? Again, no siree: Moon bumps, according to the conspiracy nutters. (The same ones who accused Meghan Markle of faking her pregnancies.) The whole thing is just so ludicrously demeaning, and yet the Macrons feel they have been left with no choice but to go to court and air Brigette’s dirty pantaloons.
Because where are the battle lines drawn between freedom of speech and hatred- inciting lunacy? No one seems to know.
Owens has said she’d stake her “entire professional reputation” on the allegation Brigitte Macron is in fact a man.
The Macrons’ lawyer has explained that his clients have found the claims “incredibly upsetting”, and a “distraction”.
As I imagine proving daily you don’t have a 5 o’clock shadow would be.
Candace has more than 27million followers across all social media platforms.
More than the populations of Australia, Romania, Holland and, er, North Korea.
Many of photogenic Ms Owens’ followers lead sad little lives.
By interacting with one another, by garnering a “like” from their political pin-up — the Instagram holy grail — they become part of a community. Albeit one based on shaky foundations, those disseminating false news.
GettyPresident Macron filed a lawsuit against rabid far-righter, Candace Owens, in July[/caption]
Health warning
Which leads us to the Lib Dems, a party generally about as impactful as the Monster Raving one, who have actually come up with quite a good idea. Speaking at the annual party conference in Bournemouth, leader Ed Davey suggested social media apps should come with cigarette-style health warnings.
He also proposed a “doomscrolling cap” to limit the time children can watch videos/browse photos to just two hours a day.
Which just goes to show that when he’s not bungee jumping, hula-hooping or leading a marching band, this man’s ideas ain’t all bad.
Smartphones are made to be addictive. And addicted anyone under 30 genuinely is. I have RSI from my own iPhone dependence, and my screen time is genuinely disturbing.
And yet I, a millennial, grew up in the halcyon days before mobiles.
What hope, then, do youngsters have, those who have finessed their #candid Instagram poses and video-editing skills just months out of nappies?
More and more of our lives are being spent behind a screen; increasingly post-grads aren’t accepting jobs if they cannot WFH.
Back in Roman times, forums were where gossip was spread, politics decided and trials heard.
Today it’s TikTok and Instagram, from behind a silicon dioxide sheet of glass.
While the global population grows infinitely larger, our collective world has never been smaller.
And that, as Ms Macron can and will testify, is terrifying.
HARRY HARD MILES
APHarry Styles completed the Berlin marathon in under three hours[/caption]
HATS off to Harry Styles, who has completed the Berlin marathon in under three hours.
As anyone with any running insight will know, anything sub-3 is elite.
I bumped into Harry in a Barry’s Bootcamp class a while ago – a brutal, celeb-fave exercise workout – and can confirm he is, indeed, very, very fit. We enjoyed a sweaty hug.
For those moaning the singer should stop pounding the pavements in his spare time and get back to the studio, let’s see you putting in those soul-destroying miles.
FLIP-FLOPPING Starmer was back at it again last week.
Two days before officially recognising the Palestinian State, the Birkenstocking PM wished readers of the Jewish Chronicle a happy Rosh Hashanah, adding: “We stand shoulder to shoulder with the Jewish community”.
WE’VE PLENTY OF BITE
GettyCongrats to the Red Roses who have made the World Cup final[/caption]
SuppliedClemmie pictured playing rugby herself[/caption]
CONGRATULATIONS to the Red Roses who have made the World Cup final.
I’m going along to cheer them on at Twickenham on Saturday, where £100-a-pop tickets have long-since sold out. (Because obviously no one watches women’s sport.)
I played rugby as a young-ish pup, below, (scrum-half), peaking at England U20s, and knuckling down alongside such England legends as Maggie Alphonsi, Rachael Burford and Heather Fisher. Unlike me, these inspirational women had the mental and physical resilience to make it to the very top.
They would train twice a day on top of full-time careers, at a time when there was very little money in the game, and no media fanfare.
For the cynical, I defy you not to be impressed by the hands and tactical nous of those playing at the highest level in 2025.
And for those of you insisting the women’s game doesn’t have the bite of the men’s . . . well, it quite literally does.
French flanker Axelle Berthoumieu had to miss her quarter-final game after chomping down on the arm of Irish back-row Aoife Wafer.
So there we go.
FACING FACTS
PEOPLE are up in arms over plans from a London borough to introduce enhanced facial recognition and AI-assisted cameras into its CCTV infrastructure.
Hammersmith and Fulham Council’s Cabinet has approved more than £3million in funding to “enhance” its camera network. The borough already has more cameras per person than anywhere else in the UK, with more than 2,000 operating.
Campaign group Big Brother Watch said the use of facial recognition proposed by the council amounted to “an unprecedented level of mass surveillance”.
Utter b****cks. Only those with something to hide – past, present or future – should worry.
PUSHY PRIEST
instagram/donalberto_rava/Father Alberto Ravagnani tried to flog supplements on Instagram[/caption]
STORY of the week comes courtesy of an Italian priest. Alberto Ravagnani has divided the clergy after trying to flog supplements.
Alongside an Instagram video of him jogging and lifting weights, Father Alberto encourages his God-fearing disciples (followers) to try Bond omega-3 capsules. Because “prayer is not enough, little ones. So: Bond Supplements.”
What next? #ad during Liturgy of the Word?
YOU can’t polish a turd, they say.
HarrodsThe £1,300 Zodiac-Cylinder gold-plated loo brush is sold in Harrods[/caption]
OH BUT YOU CAN!!
Welcome, everybody, to the £1,300 Zodiac-Cylinder gold-plated loo brush now being sold in Harrods.
(Insert your own s**t pun).
GO EASY ON CHRISTINA, CHAPS
AP:Associated PressChristina Aguilera performing her mega-hit, Dirrty, in 2002 aged 22[/caption]
Shutterstock EditorialThe pop star, now aged 44, looked absolutely incredible at the Portola Music Festival, San Francisco[/caption]
AWWW, to be a woman over 40 in pop.
Twenty-three years after Christina Aguilera first performed her mega-hit, Dirrty, in a leather harness and chaps, she recreated the look on stage at the Portola Music Festival, San Francisco.
But, of course, today she is 44. Not 22.
Despite looking absolutely incredible – arguably even better than before – this has Upset Men.
“Peri-menopausal women of the music industry have never been so desperate, cheap, classless, tasteless,” commented one lovely sounding chap, a person hiding behind a pseudonym and no photo.
“Without the fat jab she’d look like an Oompa Loompa,” added another lump who could do with a small prick to the stomach.
“Tell Grandma Aguilera to calm down and drink her prune juice,” chipped in “Californian Dude”.
I suggest, Dude, you chill out and let women be.
Published: [#item_custom_pubDate]
